


Truth, Beauty, Freedom, Love

by delightful_fear



Series: Meerkat Day [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Never Met, Groundhog Day, M/M, Paris (City)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-10 08:50:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13498640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delightful_fear/pseuds/delightful_fear
Summary: After an incredible year together, Sebastian knows he can't wait any longer to tell Kurt the big secret he's been keeping.  It is time to somehow tell him everything, explain it all the best he can, and just hope...Hope that Kurt doesn't think he's crazy.Hope that Kurt doesn't think it's all made up.Hope that Kurt will still love him when all the dust settles...How can Sebastian tell Kurt about what happened the day they met, without losing him forever?





	1. February 1st

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _"This story is about is about truth, beauty, freedom; but above all things, this story is about love."_ \- Moulin Rouge

[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=2wnp6qp)

Kurt squeezed Seb’s hand hard as their taxi pulled through the tall gate, revealing a massive nineteenth century chateau. The vehicle stopped on the circular driveway, and they climbed out, both gawking at the neo-classical building, with its creamy yellow stone facade and the windows on the third floor peeking out from the dove grey roofline.

“Are we really staying here, Sebastian?” Kurt said in a hushed tone, his eyes wide as he took in everything. 

Wrapping an arm around his waist, Seb pulled him close to give him a light kiss. “It’s our Meet-aversary. We needed somewhere special to celebrate.” 

Attentive staff soon had their bags unloaded and were leading them inside the hotel. The lobby was just as striking as the exterior, with black trim accenting the architectural details on the white walls. Crimson rugs contrasted boldly, defining areas with plush armchairs, and carrying up the wide staircase. 

Seb soon had them checked in, and they were invited to have a drink in the library while their room was being prepared. It was a cozy bar, lined with bookshelves and dark woodwork. They sunk onto leather chairs, smiling at each other. 

Reaching across to take Kurt’s hand, Seb lifted it to press a kiss to the back of it. “Being here, with you, is a dream come true, Kurt.” He meant it, from the bottom of his heart. 

Kurt’s blue-grey eyes were warm as he looked back at Seb, a little tired from the long journey, but still excited and happy. “Two weeks in Paris! This is going to be amazing.”

A server came to them, and Seb ordered champagne, wanting to start off everything right. 

They clinked their glasses, meeting each other’s gaze, and Seb felt amazed to be sharing such a moment with this wonderful man. It had been the most incredible year of his life. 

They sipped the bubbly wine in silence, taking in the atmosphere and unwinding from the long trip. Letting it sink in that they were finally here. It was nice being comfortable enough together to not feel the need to fill the silence with chatter.

Seb still couldn’t believe a whole year had passed. He had been determined to savor every day he had with Kurt, and their relationship had deepened. They split their time between Denver and Boulder, alternating weekends usually. Their work had them apart sometimes during the week, but rarely more than three nights in a row. Lately, even that seemed like too long though. 

Seb finished off his champagne and refilled their glasses. Looking at his boyfriend, he felt such a jumble of emotions. Happiness, love, and still that intense attraction. But under that, there were the old insecurities. 

After all this time together, he desperately wanted to take the next step with Kurt, and move in together. He had never thought he would want this with anyone, but the idea of sharing their lives that way seemed so right. 

Before he could ask, he needed to clear the air though. Tell Kurt about what had happened the day they met. He had enough screw-ups during the year that had Kurt looking at him funny, and had luckily been able to come up with plausible excuses on the spot. But if they lived together, it would surely happen more as Seb let his guard down. Not coming clean now would just end in disaster later. 

How could he explain it without Kurt thinking he was crazy? At least now they had a year of great memories together, a context for Kurt to place Seb’s explanation against. This was the right time to talk about it all. 

And hopefully the right place too. Seb thought this long vacation was the best, since they would be away from the office pressures and able to focus on the relationship. Work through the aftermath of his confession. 

Seb knew it could cause a few bad days, or even longer. Kurt feeling angry or hurt at being left in the dark so long. He had prepared mentally for it, knowing he was just going to have to withstand whatever Kurt threw at him, and hopefully be at his side still when the storm blew itself out. 

The only remaining question was when to talk about it. It was February 1st, and tomorrow was Groundhog Day. February 2nd. The day he had been stuck in for months last year. 

If he was going to be stuck on a day again, if the same forces of nature decided to do it to him again, Seb was going to make sure it was the best possible day. So, he had plans for February 2nd this year. 

Telling Kurt everything could come when they woke up the next morning and Seb knew for sure it was February 3rd. 

“Sebastian,” Kurt squeezed his hand, “our room is ready.” 

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Seb stood up and smiled at his boyfriend. “Great.”

“You seemed miles away just now. What were you thinking about so intensely? Not the office, I hope.” Kurt looped his arm through Seb’s as they walked up the grand staircase. 

Shaking his head, Seb chuckled. “No, no, not at all. The kids will be fine on their own for a couple weeks.” Seb has continued his work with the new lawyers, in both branches. “I’m just thinking of the plans for tomorrow.”

Kurt pulled out the keycard, and opened their door. “I’m dying to know what you have in mind for the big day.” He stepped inside the room, turning back to give Seb a wide smile. “If they are half as good as this hotel, I just might let you have your wicked way with me.”

Closing the door behind him, Seb took off his coat and draped it on a nearby chair. Joining Kurt, they toured around the suite, both looking around in awe. The suite had a king sized bed, covered in a deep red brocade quilt. The rich color was carried on the red tartan canopy along the ceiling above the bed, and small dashes of it here and there. 

“I’m a little surprised at the leopard print wallpaper, frankly.” Seb hugged Kurt from behind. 

Kurt turned his head to look over his shoulder. “I read an article in Vogue about this place. The interior designer made every room different, with furnishings from over twenty countries. I love it.” He turned in Seb’s arms, his eyes clearly showing that he meant it.

Seb couldn’t resist leaning in to kiss him, sweet, soft kisses that grew deeper. Kurt returned them just as eagerly, drawing him towards the bed. 

“Really, Kurt?” Seb wasn’t complaining, but he was a bit surprised when his hands started undoing his shirt buttons. "We could go for a little walk. The Champs-Élysées isn't far from here." 

Nodding, Kurt’s busy fingers were soon working on the zipper of his pants. “I’m tired. I think we need a little nap." The dimple appearing on one cheek as he gave a saucy grin was far too much for Seb to resist, even if he wanted to.

Soon they were naked, crawling under the luxurious bed sheets to cuddle together. Seb kissed his way down Kurt’s chest, loving the way his breath caught when he hit a sensitive spot, and the way he arched off the bed. So sensual and responsive. Beautifully uninhibited. His wonderful man. 

...

It was twilight by the time they were done, panting and sharing slow, sweet kisses. 

“I love you, Sebastian Smythe.” Kurt said simply, snuggling against his chest with a contented languor. 

Tucking the covers up around him, Seb smiled down at Kurt. “I love you too.” He said it softly, not wanting to disturb him as he fell asleep.

Would Kurt still be saying that by the end of the trip? Would he still say it when he knew the whole unvarnished truth? 

Seb eventually fell asleep, but it wasn’t as deep as Kurt's. 

...

-A/N: Happy Groundhog Day! I couldn’t let this pass without posting the start of the third (and last) part of this series. I want to explore how Seb will explain what happened last year and how they will deal with it as a couple. Some angst, but set against the backdrop of Paris. I’m already enjoying the research! If any readers know France well, I’d love your help with a few things. Message me on tumblr or my gmail account (see my profile).  
-I think the story will be 6 chapters long, but it's still a work in progress, so we'll see how it goes.

-They are staying at Saint James Hotel. From their website: “The Saint James’s majestic neoclassical façade can be deceiving. Step inside, and you’re now surrounded by the elegant madness of Bambi Sloan. Like in a dream, this unimaginable mix of styles turns temporal and spatial markers on their heads. Here, the Second Empire meets virtually every other decorative period, with inspiration coming from everywhere, while its crowning glory, “Chandelier Chaos”, soars 14 metres overhead.”. [Link.](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/travel_news/article-3014980/Leopard-print-walls-baths-two-terrace-tucked-ornate-hot-air-balloon-Inside-quirky-ch-teau-hotel-hidden-middle-Paris.html) Vogue article [ here.](https://www.vogue.com/article/most-romantic-paris-hotels-bristol-plaza-athenee-apartment-rental)


	2. February 2nd

Long fingers trailed over his chest, and a warm body cuddled closer against his back. Smiling sleepily, Seb took Kurt’s hand in his. 

Kurt responded by shifting even closer, pressing against his ass and making it very clear he was happy to be there.

Groaning softly, Seb pulled Kurt’s hand upwards, taking a couple fingers into his mouth to tease. Showing him just what he wanted to do to a more sensitive part of his body. 

Rotating his hips, Kurt gasped against Seb. He pulled his fingers free, dragging them down Seb’s muscular chest to hold him in his spit-slick fist.

It wasn’t elegant, but it was effective. Grinding together, panting, knowing each other well enough to tell when to speed up. 

Seb chuckled when Kurt cuddled against him a few minutes later. “We’ve made a bit of a mess of the sheets.”

“Don’t you love hotels? You can make a mess and when you come back later, it’s all reset and looking perfect again?” Kurt shrugged with a little smirk, a dimple popping out on his cheek.

Seb dragged him closer for a deep kiss. “Want to have a nice soak in that huge bathtub before we get some breakfast?”

He tried acting normal, but internally, he was a bit flustered at Kurt’s words. They hit a little too close to what had happened on this day last year. Everything resetting every day, no matter what kind of mess was his Boulder hotel room was in. Waking up in the bed even when he fell asleep on the sofa. 

Kurt nodded in agreement, and slinked out of bed, comfortable in his nudity as he stretched. He strolled over to the bathroom, leaning down to start the water and adding some bubble bath. 

Seb watched from their luxurious bed, enjoying the view. Already, this Groundhog Day was 1000x better than last year’s. Waking up with Kurt, sharing kisses and orgasms, and no fucking alarm clocks. He could stare all day at Kurt, still pinching himself after a year that such an incredible man was his boyfriend. 

Kurt smirked over at him, sitting on the edge of the claw foot tub. “Well, are you going to just sit there all day with that goofy expression on your face, or are you going to get in here and scrub my back?”

Throwing aside the covers, Seb crawled out of bed and stretched too. He glanced out of the window, seeing the city beyond, and it sent a sensation of pure excitement through him. Two weeks in Paris. Fantastic. 

By the time he stepped into the bath, Kurt looked relaxed and happy, his eyes closed and a sweet smile on his lips. Seb leaned in to give him a light kiss, unable to resist him.

Kurt’s stormy blue eyes opened, his look so warm and affectionate it made Seb’s heart thump harder in his chest. He would never tire of seeing that look, so full of love. Love Seb never expected to have during his lifetime. 

Shifting to sit behind Kurt, he took a soapy sponge to wash his back, admiring every inch of his smooth pale skin. Kurt leaned back against him with a contented hum, as Seb continued with his chest. It was nice, taking care of his man this way. Showing with his actions his deep feelings easier than with words. 

...

“Do we really need to go out for dinner?” Kurt asked, setting down his shopping bags near a chair and dropping down onto it with a sigh. 

Chuckling, Seb knelt before Kurt, undoing his boots and slipping them off, rubbing his sore feet just to hear Kurt moan in response. They had gone out for brunch in a pretty cafe, enjoying great food and hearing French conversations all around them.

Afterwards, they had wandered aimlessly along the _Champs-Élysées_ , exploring, hand in hand. They had admired the huge _Arc de Triomphe_ , then strolling down the wide street. Kurt had pulled him into a few shops, both enjoying unearthing some great finds. Lunch near the _Place de la Concorde_ had involved a delicious bottle of wine, and they had wandered around the historic square afterwards, taking pictures near the obelisk. It had been a perfect day to ease into being in Paris, knowing they had plenty of time to explore the other sites later on. 

Although he had enjoyed the day, Seb’s thoughts were often pulled to his plans for the next morning. February 3rd. If he woke up tomorrow and it actually was February 3rd. His stomach churned at the fear of being stuck in another time loop. _Surely it couldn’t happen again, could it?_

He had to push down those worries and focus back on Kurt. He had to believe that tomorrow would be February 3rd, that he would tell Kurt everything that had happened last year, and then move on. Put an end to it all, and move on to a better future.

Seb shrugged. “No, we can just order in room service. Relax. Are you feeling jet lagged?” It was eight hours later in Paris than in Boulder. 

Shaking his head, Kurt’s eyes narrowed a little as he looked down at Seb. His mouth curled into a wicked little smile. “Not really. But I have some other ideas for tonight.” 

Kurt had been subtly teasing Seb all day, stealing kisses and touching him often, his eyes promising so much. It had been a simmering arousal, and this look was all it took for Seb to be nodding back eagerly. 

The sunset was early this time of year, around 6pm, so it was quite dark in their suite. The staff had left on a table lamp. It was only a little after seven now. 

“Get me the room service menu.” Kurt said, giving Seb a small shove with his foot. 

Rising from the floor, Seb nodded and looked around the suite, finding a thin binder on the writing desk. He took it to Kurt, and sunk again onto the floor before him. 

They had played around like this before, dabbling around with things, and they had both enjoyed it. Kurt was open minded, and very sexual. Despite being monogamous the whole year, Seb had never been bored. There were times Kurt was a bit dominant, other times a little submissive. Times they dressed up in costumes and role played for the night. Doctor, stripper, sexy stranger, boss. They knew each other’s limits well by now, and felt comfortable just following the other’s lead. Playing along. Knew the safe words if things went too far.

Flipping through the pages, Kurt wrote a few items down on a notepad nearby. He tore off the paper and gave it to Seb. “Order this for us while I get things ready.” He stood up, heading towards his large suitcase. 

Kurt’s commands were already getting Seb in the mood, and he eagerly obeyed. He ordered in French, knowing Kurt liked hearing him speak the language. Just another thing they had in common. 

By the time he was off the phone, Kurt had some candles lit in the bedroom and the covers pulled back on the bed. He sat on the upholstered bench at the end, his legs crossed, and looking delicious. 

Seb stood in front of Kurt, awaiting his next order. 

“Strip for me. Slowly.” Kurt said, looking up into his green eyes. 

They had both dressed in many layers, as it was barely above freezing in Paris this time of year. Seb untied the scarf around his neck and tossed it to a nearby chair. His sweater was next, pulling the dark blue knit over his head. He slowly unbuttoned his dress shirt, enjoying Kurt watching him, always loving the slightly unfocused look he got when he took in his chest. Often he unconsciously licked his lips, letting his gaze go over Seb’s wide shoulders and his well defined abs. 

His dark grey trousers were next to be thrown on the chair. Seb was only in his black boxer briefs, and lifted his hands to the waistband, waiting for Kurt to nod for him to continue. 

Shaking his head, Kurt beckoned him to step closer. He reached out a hand, cupping Seb, tracing over his erection through the thin material. He was fully hard now, and closed his eyes, savoring his lover’s skillful touch. Kurt’s hand skimmed lower, squeezing lightly just to hear Seb moan. Then his hands went around to hold his ass, pulling him closer to kiss his stomach, right above the waistband of his briefs. 

Kurt looked up at Seb, his lips curling into a sensual grin. “Get on the bed. Lie in the center.” He kissed Seb’s stomach again before letting him go. 

Obeying, Seb made sure his motions were slow, showing off the long lines of his body as he crawled into place on the large bed. He settled on his back, a soft pillow under his head. Ready. Eager. 

Kurt had a small zippered bag, and he pulled out some coiled cotton rope. It wasn’t long before Seb’s hands were tied to the headboard. Anticipation had Seb arching his hips off the bed as he pulled against his bonds, testing their strength. 

Chuckling, Kurt crawled off the bed to review his handiwork. “Mmmmmm you look quite wonderful.” His eyes glowed as they went over Seb’s mostly bare body, laid out for his pleasure. 

There was a knock on the door, making Seb jump a little. 

Kurt ran a soothing hand down his arm. “It’s just dinner.“ He got up to go to the door. 

An uniformed server wheeled in a cart, and unloaded a few items on to a table. Kurt handed him a tip, and as the man turned the cart around, he happened to look into the bedroom, with it’s open door. Sebastian spread out, tied up, lit up by candlelight. 

_“Bon soir, Monsieurs.”_ The server said with a straight face, giving them a nod before he shut the door behind him. 

Kurt chuckled as he picked up a tray, and carried it into the bedroom. “Don’t you just love the French? Unfazed by anything sexual.” 

Kurt set the tray down on the edge of the bed. Then he slowly undressed, his eyes on Seb the whole time, putting on just as much of a show as Seb had. 

His underwear was cobalt blue, and contrasted nicely against his pale skin. Seb wanted to touch him, run his hands over his muscles shoulders, his slim torso, the delicious curve of his ass. Cup him, feeling how well he fit his hand, feeling him harden further at his touch. Pulling at his bonds, Seb made a little frustrated sound. 

Kurt smirked slightly, crawling up to straddle Seb. “Calm down. It’s time for some dinner.” He wiggled his hips a little, rubbing firmly against Seb’s erection, as he dragged the tray closer. He picked up a slice of cheese, and brushed it against Seb’s lips. 

Accepting the food, Seb watched as Kurt selected some for himself. He alternated feeding them, sometimes letting Seb take a bite of something and finishing the rest off himself. It was a slow, sensual way to eat, and the view was fantastic. 

Picking up a martini glass, Kurt held it up to Seb’s lips. “What do you think? This was created for the Universal Expo in Paris in 1867.”

Raising his eyebrows slightly, Seb sipped the chilled cocktail. It was as strong as a martini, but had more of a citrus taste. “It reminds me of a gin and tonic in flavour.”

Kurt took a sip himself. “Mmmmm...yes. Gin and Lillet. Some lemon juice and Cointreau. A splash of absinthe.” 

“Why is it called ‘Corpse Reviver No. 2’?” He has chuckled to himself when he was placing the order earlier. “I don’t need reviving. As you can tell, I’m standing at full attention.” He lifted his hips a little, nudging against Kurt. 

Kurt’s hands went to his shoulders, pushing him down. “None of that now. Lie still.” He got up, moving the tray back to the living room, and coming back with another drink. 

Back on top of Seb, they shared this second cocktail. “This drink is supposedly strong enough to bring the dead back to life, or at least revive people with hangovers.” He set the empty glass down on the bedside table, and settled down over Seb. “I’m hoping it’s strong enough to also act as a truth serum.”

Seb rolled his eyes. “Am I a captured spy in this scenario? OK”. He thought for a minute, getting into character, and shooting Kurt a defiant glare. “I will never talk. No matter what you do to me. Have your wicked way with me. Ply me with liquor. It’s no use.”

Kurt shook his head, his expression sobering. The playfulness going out of him. He leaned closer, his expression determined, as he looked into his eyes. “This isn’t playing, Seb. I know you’ve been hiding something from me, and I’m not letting you go until you tell me what it is.”

…

-A/N: Thanks for everyone for reading this story so far! 

- _Champs-Élysées_ : ‘an avenue in the 8th _arrondissement_ of Paris, 1.9 kilometres (1.2 mi) long and 70 metres (230 ft) wide, running between the _Place de la Concorde_ and the _Place Charles de Gaulle,_ where the _Arc de Triomphe_ is located. It is known for its theatres, cafés, and luxury shops, for the annual Bastille Day military parade, and as the finish of the _Tour de France_ cycle race. The name is French for the Elysian Fields, the paradise for dead heroes in Greek mythology.’ (Wikipedia)

- _Arc de Triomphe_ : Started in 1806, it was the highest triumphal arc in the world for a hundred years, at 50 meters high (146 feet). ‘The _Arc de Triomphe_ honours those who fought and died for France in the French Revolutionary and Napoleonic Wars, with the names of all French victories and generals inscribed on its inner and outer surfaces. Beneath its vault lies the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier from World War I.’ (Wikipedia). It was commissioned by Emperor Napoleon at the peak of his career, and it has become ‘the rallying point of French troops parading after successful military campaigns and for the annual Bastille Day Military Parade. Famous victory marches around or under the Arc have included the Germans in 1871, the French in 1919, the Germans in 1940, and the French and Allies in 1944 and 1945.’ (Wikipedia) 

- _Place de la Concorde_ : This is the largest public square in Paris, completed in 1772 and called _Place Louis XV_ to honor the king at that time, with an statue of the king on horseback. During the French Revolution, this statue was pulled down and the square named _Place de la Révolution_. A guillotine was erected in the centre, and many of the nobility were executed there, including King Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette in 1793. The named was changed to _Place de la Concorde_ in 1795 as a gesture of reconciliation after the turmoil of the Revolution calmed. Battles with the monarchy in subsequent years had the name changing a few more times, but it has been back to the _Place de la Concorde_ since the July Revolution of 1830.

-Luxor Obelisk: In 1836, this large Obelisk was erected in the centre of the _Place de la Concorde_. ‘The obelisk once marked the entrance to the Luxor Temple. The self-declared Khedive of Egypt, Muhammad Ali Pasha, offered the 3,300-year-old Luxor Obelisk to France in 1829.’ (Wikipedia) It was very difficult to transport the 23 m (75 foot), 250 ton yellow granite column from Egypt to Paris back then. Elaborate fountains were built on each side, influenced by the fountains of Rome, particularly _Piazza Navona_ and the _Piazza San Pietro._

-Corpse Reviver No. 2: Here’s the recipe of this classic cocktail for your drinking pleasure. Link [here.](https://www.thespruce.com/corpse-reviver-no-2-recipe-760015)


	3. The Cross-Examination

Kurt shook his head, his expression sobering. The playfulness going out of him. He leaned closer, his expression determined, as he looked into his eyes. “This isn’t playing, Seb. I know you’ve been hiding something from me, and I’m not letting you go until you tell me what it is.”

Seb’s gut twisted into a knot at those words, and he tried to appear normal. “Um, what are you talking about, Kurt? Are you seriously tying me up under false pretenses? Luring me to relax my guard with the promise of sex, and now trying to get me to confess some imagined slight to you?”

Kurt clenched his jaw, looking as stubborn as ever. “I make a career out of reading people, and things aren’t adding up with you, Sebastian Smythe. Too many strange slips of the tongue, or odd reactions over the last year. Things taken on their own that could be dismissed, and easy for a silver-tongued lawyer like you to divert attention from.”

Usually, this would be when Seb would use a variety of methods to move Kurt’s attention elsewhere. Sometimes a vague comment and moving away, like going to the washroom. Making a joke, bringing up other information, making a dismissive comment followed up with kissing near Kurt’s ear. Initiating sex was always a great distraction. Kurt’s sex drive was almost as high as his own, and he knew just how to rev him up. 

But under Kurt’s steely gaze, Seb couldn’t do any of those. He was hardly able to move. This could be bad. Feeling stressed, he slipped into his old evasive habits. After a year, the habits were practically second nature to him now. He wanted to stick to his plan of telling Kurt the next day.

 _Try for joking approach._ “Oh really? I’m guilty of some grand yearlong deception or something? Come on, Kurt! Don’t you think this is a bit excessive? Tying me down like this?” He did his cutest, ‘I’m harmless’ expression, and waited. 

“I won’t know until you explain everything to my satisfaction, not evasive half-answers. Then I’ll be the judge if I’ve gone too far tonight.” Kurt said, firm in his convictions. This was something he had planned in advance, it seemed. Ready with responses to anything Seb might throw at him.

Seb scoffed. “This is ridiculous! Let me go. What do you think I could be hiding from you? We work at the same company, know a lot of the same people, and spend most of our free time together.”

Tilting his head slightly. Kurt shrugged. “That’s true. But you have acted oddly a few too many times for it to be nothing. Fess up now, and this will all be over.” 

If Seb has his hands free, he’d probably be rubbing them over his face, trying to think up a way out of this. “What would I bother to hide from you? An affair? You leave me sexually exhausted and well marked. No one could see me naked and not know I have a boyfriend.”

Grinning mischievously for a second, Kurt seemed to agree. “Yes. I doubt it’s an affair.”

“Well, What then? What kind of signs have you seen that make you think something is going on?” Maybe he could shoot them down one by one. Weaken Kurt’s case. 

Kurt picked up the bottle of Perrier he had left on the bedside table and took a long drink. “It started the day we meet, a year ago today. I had heard about you before then, and you were so different than every story out there. You were kind and considerate, generously helping other people, all that. It’s what first attracted me to you.”

“And the way I wear a suit.” Seb joked, trying for a diversion again. 

“I dismissed it as people not knowing you that well, or maybe sour grapes from losing to you in court. Spreading bad rumors in law circles.” Kurt carried on, almost thinking out loud. 

Seb shrugged as much as his position allowed. “That isn’t uncommon in our industry.”

Kurt furrowed his brow a little. “But then everyone in Denver treated you like that as well. They didn’t seem to know you as the kind, considerate man I knew. But then, in the next few months, you won them all over and seemed more involved in Denver activities.” 

“So, you have tied me up and are demanding answers because I got friendlier? Maybe it’s just because we were together and I was a happier person.” Seb searched for other explanations. 

Kurt shook his head dismissively. “No, no...,” he looked off to collect his thoughts before meeting Seb’s gaze squarely. “And then there are all the things you know about me. So often, you’d say something in conversation and I’d think ‘How the hell did you know that?’ Stuff I know we never discussed before.” 

Seb scoffed, but internally he had a sinking feeling. “Yeah? Like what?” He needed specifics in order to argue them down. 

“Like that time we were shopping in that consignment shop, and you joked that you should buy a vintage suit. Saying you knew I was into that. Or that time we were flipping around the TV channels and you stopped on ‘Umbrellas of Cherbourg’, saying you knew I loved it as much as you did. And then you were so clingy all during the movie.” Kurt just shook his head, clearly confused and concerned. “Little things come up so often like that, and it throws me. I search my memories and come up blank for anytime we talked about little things like that.”

 _Shit._ Seb swallowed hard, looking away. He had been in the time loops for months, spending so much time with Kurt, sometimes things from the earlier time loops slipped out. Watching that French movie had been particularly bad, knowing it had been when he first realized he loved Kurt. 

He looked back at Kurt, not able to think of how to explain it. He shrugged. 

Kurt let out a frustrated huff. “No! This is why you are tied up. No more trying to dismiss this. The only explanation I can think of is that you are pumping people I know for information on me, or something like that. How else could you know private things like that if I don’t tell you about them?” 

Sighing, Seb knew it was time to explain the time loops. But not today. He couldn’t bear it to be today. Tomorrow, if he woke up and it was actually February 3rd, he would feel safe. 

“OK, Kurt. You deserve an explanation. But can I tell you tomorrow morning? I promise we won’t leave the hotel until you are fully satisfied. I really just want to celebrate our anniversary today. Have everything perfect.” Seb gave his most cajoling look, pouring it on. 

Taking another drink of water, Kurt shook his head again. “No. That’s another odd thing. Your obsession with this day, this trip. The way you insisted we leave early on February 1st so we would be in Paris in the afternoon, even though there were cheaper flights at different times. Insisting last night that I turn off my phone alarm, that we sleep in today. So many other things.” 

“I just want everything to be perfect for us, for you. It has been an amazing year with you, Kurt. I’ve never had a serious relationship that lasted this long before. Maybe I’m going overboard just because of that.” Seb gave him a warm look. 

“Things still don’t add up. And even when I say I love you, you say it back, but you never look me in the eye when you do it. You’ll lean in to kiss my neck, murmur it in my ear, or say it as you hug me.” Kurt’s eyes showed how that had hurt him, made him doubt Seb’s true feelings. 

Seb squirmed a little under Kurt’s assessing gaze. Even though he loved Kurt deeply, he still had a hard time believing Kurt loved him back. Worried that it would all be over when Kurt knew everything. The truth. 

Kurt sighed, running a hand down Seb’s bare chest. He met his eyes, his expression softer, concerned. “I think I figured it out, finally. About a month ago, it hit me and so many things made sense then.”

Blinking hard in shock, Seb couldn’t look away from Kurt. “What? What do you think?”

“It’s the only thing that fits you apparent quick change in character. The way you went from being a sleazy lawyer to being so caring and involved with everyone around you. Fits you being so obsessed with going on this trip, making our anniversary such a big deal.” Kurt straightened up, his gaze unflinching, but still concerned. 

“What?” Seb’s mouth felt so dry, the word was barely audible. 

Kurt closed his eyes for a long moment, and when he opened them, they were wet with tears. He blinked hard, looking away as he tried to pull himself together. 

_Fuck..._ Seb wished his hands were free, so he could gather Kurt close, comfort him. He hated that he was so upset, especially when he was the cause. 

Grabbing a tissue from the bedside table, Kurt blew his nose, dabbed at his eyes. He still clutched the tissues tight in his hand. “You have a terminal disease. Something incurable. You were given a year to live, and it changed you. Made you stop worrying about making big money and a big name for yourself as a lawyer, and started helping out the associates instead. Made you slow down and spend more time getting to know people. Maybe spending more time in Boulder, volunteering. Talking more with your mom.”

Seb closed his eyes, shocked at Kurt thinking that, and feeling awful that he had been worrying about it. 

Kurt laid down over Seb, tucking his face against his neck. “It’s OK, Sebastian. I’m here for you, no matter what happens. We’ll face it all together.” 

Seb felt overwhelmed with love and emotions for this incredible man. He had been alone for so much of his adult life, living shallowly. Superficial friendships, hook-ups for empty sex, caring only about success in his career. The past year with Kurt, he felt like he was finally truly living. As much as he wanted to wait to tell him everything tomorrow, he knew he had to say it now.

“Kurt, Kurt...I’m so sorry you have thought that. Had to deal with thinking that. You are right that something happened to me about a year ago, but I’ve been to many doctors in Boulder and in Denver, and they have agreed I’m healthy. Sound in body and mind.” Seb tried to give an assuring smile, but it wobbled. 

Kurt’s blue eyes seemed enormous, a little red from his tears. He searched Seb for answers. “Something ‘happened’, and you’ve been to ‘doctors’ about it? As in more than one??” His tone was disbelieving, clearly alarmed and confused. 

Seb sighed, unsure how to start. The past year, he had thought of dozens of ways to try to explain it, and wasn’t satisfied with any of them. 

“You remember the first day we met was a year ago today. But I had already met you a hundred times before that.” Seb said, one corner of his lip curling up in a half-smile. It sounded ridiculous. It was ridiculous. 

Kurt scrunched his eyebrows down, clearly confused by the statement. “You mean we met many times before, and I can’t remember any of them?” 

Seb nodded. “Yeah. But it wasn’t only you. Nobody else remembered the other days either. Just me.”

“You’ve lost me.” Kurt tilted his head a little to the side. 

Looking at the ceiling, Seb tried to think of how to explain it. “Look, I know this sounds crazy, but keep an open mind, OK?” He looked back at Kurt. “Remember that first weekend at your place, when we watched that Tom Cruise movie, a little stoned?”

“‘The Edge of Tomorrow’.” Kurt nodded. 

“Right. Well, remember how he kept dying, again and again, and waking up repeating the same day?” Seb asked, hoping he was explaining this well. 

Kurt’s eyebrows raised a little, clearly wondering why Seb was bringing the sci-fi movie up. “Yes...”

Seb met Kurt’s gaze straight on. Letting him see he was serious. “That is basically what happened to me. Except I would fall asleep and wake up on the same day.”

Kurt stared at him a full minute, searching his expression for signs that he was joking. “Come on, Sebastian. Shit like that doesn’t happen in reality. I don’t know why you are telling me such a ridiculous story. I’d really like to hear the truth.” 

Closing his eyes, Seb took a few deep breaths. It did sound unbelievable. He couldn’t fault Kurt for not accepting it. 

Shrugging, Seb looked back at Kurt. “It is the truth, but I have no physical proof of it. Everything reset each day, except my memories.”

“Your memories.” Kurt repeated. 

“You think we met for the first time in the meeting. The first time, for me, was an hour earlier. You were talking to Wyatt, bent over his desk in those fantastic pin-striped pants. And it was months before the day you remember.” 

Kurt let out a small chuckle, shaking his head. “Oh yeah? And I suppose it was love at first sight, right?” 

Seb chuckled back. He knew Kurt was humoring him, but decided to go on. “Well, I was attracted to you right away. You thought I was a sleazy lawyer, and you were right. I even snuck out after lunch to hook-up with a guy from Grindr that first day.” 

Once he had started, Seb just kept going. He told Kurt everything, about trying to escape Boulder, and not being able to. About goofing off, partying, drinking and having sex with half the men in town. Not holding anything back. Kurt knew him well enough after a year together to put his actions in a broader context, and hopefully wouldn’t judge him too harshly. 

Eventually he ran out of words, and he felt drained, but also relieved. It had been a big secret, one he had only shared with a couple people in early time loops.

Finally, Kurt reached down and unhooked his restraints, and passed him the bottle of water. Seb took a long drink, and shifted to lie on his side, making room for Kurt to lie down beside him. 

“Look, Kurt...” Seb said softly. “I know it’s a whopper of a story, and you will need time to process it all. It’s why I waited until now to tell you, when we would have a couple weeks to unpack this. I hope you will think about it and ask me questions as they come up. I’ll tell you the whole truth. And if by the end of this trip, you can’t accept it, I’ll understand. We can go back to our own separate homes.”

It hurt to say that, but Seb has lived long enough with this shadow over them. Constantly worried he would say or do the wrong thing and fuck everything up. A damn Sword of Damocles hanging over him, threatening everything he had built this new life on. This was it. He was going to be a completely open book to Kurt, answer every question without prevarication. _The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. So help me God...or Goddess...or the great Spaghetti Monster in the sky._

Kurt was quiet a long, long time. Lying beside Seb, looking up at the ceiling. Although he was dying, dying, dying to know what he was thinking, Seb kept silent. He had said a lot, and knew Kurt was shifting through everything. Matching what Seb has said with memories of the past, seeing if they fit his explanation. Tumbling everything around in his analytical mind. 

Finally, he turned on his side to face Seb, his eyes searching his. “So, the Sebastian you are now, the man I know...it’s all just an act? You were putting on a character to attract me? Fine tuning it everyday until I was suckered in?”

Seb’s heart sank like a stone at those words, leaving him an empty shell. The sad thing was, the words had some truth to them. “It started that way. I can’t deny that, Kurt. I wanted to seduce you, maybe to prove to myself I could do it. Make the man who judged me and found me lacking into a lover by the end of the day. A challenge.”

Kurt scoffed lightly, his expression changing into one of utter distaste as he turned away. 

Part of Seb just wanted to grab Kurt tight, clutch him close, cry against him. Promise him anything. Swear his love a hundred times. Anything, anything to have him back the way he was yesterday. 

Another part of Seb was nodding. Smug and sneering in defiance. _See? All Kurt’s words of love were shallow. He loved you only when you acted the way he wanted. He doesn’t love the ‘real’ you, warts and all. Messy, dirty, greedy, selfish past and all. It’s a good thing it’s over now, before you moved in together or made some other horrendous mistake._ The voice that he had lived with most of his life. The jaded voice that kept him lonely and trusting no one. Using others for what he could get from them. 

He shook his head, pushing that negative voice away. Reaching out slowly, he set a hand on Kurt’s shoulder. “It started like that, but I eventually gave up. It didn’t work. By the end of the day, I could only convince you to maybe like me a little, be a little attracted, willing to go on a date with me even. But it was never more than that. And by then, I wanted more. Wanted you to care about me the way I had grown to care about you.”

Kurt still didn’t look his way.

“Eventually, I tried to keep away from you. It hurt too much.” He dropped his hand from Kurt, pulling the covers over his body. “I’ve only ever told two other people about all this, but on earlier time loops so they don’t remember it now. One said it was a ‘superpower’, that I had ‘infinite time to explore and learn and experience everything’. So, I made a list of things I wanted to try, things I wanted to learn.”

Kurt looked at him over his shoulder. “What type of things?”

Seb took heart that Kurt was interested enough to ask, even if he was still facing away. “I read a lot, started helping associates with their cases. Got a deeper understanding of the law. Got to know more people, try new things. I have you to thank for some of that.”

Kurt rolled onto his back. “What do you mean?”

Daring to give a bit of a grin, Seb shrugged. “I wanted to get a better relationship with my mother, but my French was rusty. I mentioned it to you in passing, and was shocked when you said you spoke it. You even offered to give me lessons.”

Kurt stared at Seb for a long moment. “Sebastian, this is so weird for me. Talking about the past, mentioning things I said or did that I can’t remember. Yet I know you well enough now that it’s just like when you talk about other things in the past, things I do remember.” 

His words gave Seb a spark of hope. “Well, I can tell you anything, everything, in as much detail as you like. I remember every second we had together.” 

“Every second...?” Kurt gave him a disbelieving glance.

Maybe it was revealing too much, leaving himself too open to say it, but he had to. He didn’t want to hold anything back anymore from Kurt. “Every second. I remember every word, every look, everything.”

Kurt’s eyes widened slightly, and then he was blinking fast, his eyes wet with unshed tears. 

“Kurt...” Seb gathered him close, hugging him tightly. His heart was thumping, full of love but so scared too. Feeling so much for the man in his arms he could hardly bear it. “I first realized I loved you during one of those French lessons. We were watching the train station scene of ‘Umbrellas of Cherbourg’, singing along, and I just knew.” He pressed his cheek against Kurt’s shoulder. 

Kurt was quiet for a couple minutes, and then he pulled back a little, his eyes searching Seb’s. “Oh, so that’s why you were so clingy and emotional when we watched it.” 

Seb nodded slowly, blinking back his own tears. It was a first step, Kurt seeming to believe even a tiny piece of what Seb has told him. Finding part of the explanation fitting into their shared past. 

Digging a hand into the hair at the back of his head, Kurt tugged Seb closer. The kiss started soft but heated up quickly. The emotions of the night, the talking, the blow their relationship had been dealt made them both want this so much. A way to express their feelings, a way to reconnect, a way to heal. 

Seb followed Kurt’s lead, wanting it to be right for him. Following his pace, his mood. Carefully touching him, stroking along his back in a way he knew Kurt liked. Smiling to himself when Kurt arched against him in reaction, nipping his neck, his hands moving down to tug at Seb’s underwear. 

They were soon naked, and Seb couldn’t resist kissing down Kurt’s chest. Savoring every inch of his warm, smooth skin, his scent, his noises of pleasure. Loved the way his fingers clenched in his hair as he took him in his mouth, using his considerable talents to take him deep. Using everything he had learned about Kurt in the past year to please him. Sex was familiar and good. Kurt was a very sexual man, passionate and open to anything. Seb worshipped him, not satisfied until Kurt was crying out his name, shuddering in pleasure. 

Seb tucked Kurt against his side, holding him tight, as he pulled the covers over them. Shutting out the world, safe in their little cocoon. He spooned Kurt, pressing soft kisses to the nape of his neck as he drifted into sleep, physically and emotionally wrung out. His own arousal faded, not the focus as he made sure Kurt was comfortable. Grateful that they were still sharing the same bed. 

...

-A/N: Yikes! I was so scared about how to write this chapter and I hope you like how Seb finally confesses everything to Kurt. Kurt is now processing this crazy story against their year together, and it will take him a while to either ultimately accept or reject it. Seb knows that this could end their relationship, but he has to tell the truth now.

-Sword of Damocles: The ancient Greek myth of Damocles pandering to his king, saying how fortunate he was to be so rich and powerful. In response, the king offered to switch places with him for a day so he could see what it was truly like. Damocles eagerly accepted, and sat down on the throne, surrounded by every luxury. But it was all spoiled by the king hanging a huge sword over his head, held at the pommel with a single hair of a horse’s tail. “Damocles finally begged the king that he be allowed to depart because he no longer wanted to be so fortunate, realizing that with great fortune and power comes also great danger.” (Wikipedia). The king effectively conveyed the constant fear in which a person with great power may live.

-Great Spaghetti Monster in the sky: a reference to ‘Grilled Cheesus’ episode of Glee.


	4. February 3rd

Seb woke up to sunlight on his face, and he blinked against it, momentarily confused on where he was. Then he saw the red tartan material overhead and it clicked that he was in the Paris hotel, Kurt curled up against his side, still asleep.

He looked over to the bedside table, and his phone wasn't there. His stomach clenched, and he eased out of the bed as quickly as he could, without jostling Kurt. Running across the suite, he scanned every surface until he finally saw his phone, and snatched it, clicking to view the home screen.

With a sigh of relief, he sunk onto a nearby high back chair, and closed his eyes. His thumping heart started to slow down. He could feel the knot of worry that had been building in him for so long starting to unwind. It had been a full year now, with no time loops. It was a milestone, somehow, a feeling of being slightly safer from another one occurring, the further he got away from them. Were they done forever now?

"Sebastian…"

Opening his eyes, he turned his head to the bed. Kurt was lying on his side, looking over at Seb, and beckoned him to return.

He nodded, walking back and putting the phone on the bedside table before he got under the covers. Lying down, he gave Kurt a careful smile. What was his mood today, after everything they had talked about last night?

Kurt sat up, turning to face Seb, his big blue eyes looking for answers. "It's like that every morning, isn't it? Wondering if it happened again? That's why you always have that expression…" He was nodding to himself, putting the pieces together.

Seb took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. It still felt so odd to be able to talk about this. "Um, yeah. Every day. For about six months, I was waking up in that damn Boulder hotel room, and my phone said it was February 2nd. It's almost a compulsion now to check the date first thing when I wake up."

Nodding, Kurt stretched out along Seb's side, pulling the covers around them, and tucked his head against his shoulder. "I can't imagine what that must have been like. Feeling powerless. Not even knowing what had caused it, or how to change anything."

Looking down at Kurt in surprise, Seb nodded. It was the first time Kurt had made a comment like that, like he believed his story. Putting himself in Seb's shoes. "Um...yes...I still haven't figured it out. A year later."

Kurt's eyes held a mixture of his old warmth and compassion, mixed with his innate way of watching people, seeing people. Seb hadn't bothered trying to lie to him in the past year, even about the tiniest thing. He had used evasion and diversion instead, but only about this.

"I don't know if it was the jet lag, or the sounds of Paris outside, or just needing time to think… but I woke up last night to go to the bathroom, and ended up sitting on the window seat, just thinking about everything for a hour or so." Kurt said softly, his eyes downcast.

Fear of what Kurt might say made Seb tense slightly. But then again, Kurt was cuddled with him, talking…that was a good sign, wasn't it? "Um…and did you come to any conclusions? Do you have any questions?"

Kurt looked up, his blue eyes seeming bright in the morning light as they captured Seb's. "Sometimes, it helps to just boil things down, simplify them, to the essential questions. In the end, there are three possibilities."

"Three possibilities…" Seb repeated, urging Kurt on.

Sitting up cross-legged beside Seb, the covers pooled around his waist, Kurt looked down at his boyfriend. "Yes. The first is that your story isn't true, and you think it is. That would mean you are crazy. But I know you well enough now to know that isn't so."

Seb nodded. It was a relief that Kurt dismissed that possibility. "And the second…?"

"That your story isn't true, and you know it isn't. That would mean either you made it up to hide something else, or it's all some elaborate joke." Kurt sighed, his hand stroking along Seb's shoulder. "And I know you well enough now to know when you are lying or joking. You aren't doing either about this."

His heart started to thump again, as he tried to breathe normally while holding Kurt's gaze. "So that leaves…"

Kurt bit his lip, looking towards the window that was letting in the morning sun. He took a couple deep, slow breaths before he looked back at Seb, his expression troubled. "That the story is true."

The words made Seb exhale quickly, releasing the breath he hadn't even realized he was holding. Relief was there, but also concern, since Kurt still seemed uneasy with what he had said.

Taking his hand, Seb lifted it to his mouth, pressing a fervent kiss to the back of it. "I am so happy you have said that, Kurt. But I know you too, after all this time together. I know you have thought it through carefully, logically, and your mind has come to this conclusion. But…"

Kurt stilled, his eyes searching Seb's. "But…?"

Sitting up, Seb mirrored his position, taking both of his hands and giving them a squeeze as he leaned in for a light kiss. "You may know it's true in your head, but you don't yet in your heart. It will take time for you to fully accept this, to know deep down that it is true. I want you to take all the time you need for this, and I won't push or rush you."

Sebastian knew this was it. These next few days or weeks were delicate, fragile. The wrong word, the wrong action, and everything they had built could break. The truth had cracked it, and only time could heal it, fed by openness, trust, and complete honesty.

Dropping his gaze to their clasped hands, Kurt shook his head. "But it's not fair. Not fair to you. You didn't cause this. You were caught up in something beyond your control, and somehow came out the other side. I get why you couldn't tell me about this before now. Too soon, and I wouldn't have known you well enough to reject the other possibilities, and doubt would have eaten away at me over time."

Seb dropped Kurt's hands to cup his face, lifting it to his, unable to resist giving him some soft kisses at those words. "The world isn't always fair. When it first happened, I wondered if I was cursed. What I had done to deserve it. I wasn't an angel before that, but I wasn't a devil either."

"No. It's not in your nature to truly hurt anyone." Kurt agreed.

"But then I woke up that morning with you, and I haven't thought of myself as anything but blessed since then. Going through all that brought me to you, and I would go through it all again if I had to for that." Seb meant every word, holding Kurt's gaze, letting him see in. Nothing held back.

Kurt's eyes widened, and then he was blinking hard, leaning in to nuzzle against Seb's chest. "Fuck, Seb." His voice was wobbly, and Seb could only hug him tight, practically in tears himself.

Emotions had run high that morning, and they clutched each other, letting everything settle, until their hold loosened.

Seb pulled back, his gaze tender on his boyfriend. "Look, let's just go out an enjoy Paris, enjoy our holiday. The door is open though, for any questions you have, as they come up. Anytime, anywhere…just ask me."

Kurt nodded. "Got it." His smile was warm, even though his eyes still showed his emotions were all stirred up.

"So, where should we go today? Shopping? A boat ride on the Seine? Wander around Montmartre? It's your pick." Seb said, keeping his tone upbeat.

Thinking it over for a minute or two, Kurt gave a little shrug. "How about we check out Notre Dame? It looks like a nice sunny day, and there is supposed to be an incredible view from the bell tower."

…

"The line is so long, Daddy..."

Sighing to himself, Seb turned away from the tired family standing behind Kurt and himself, and tried to focus on the beautiful ancient architecture of the gothic cathedral before them. Seb was determined to make it a good experience for them both. The whining, tired ten year old wasn't helping.

Kurt was intent on his e-reader, deep into a juicy mystery that was set in Paris. He wasn't in a talkative mood, so Seb was giving him some space. He seemed mostly to be ignoring the annoying girl, but Seb had caught a small eye roll or two. 

The girl was dressed in a purple jacket with a pink backpack covered in pictures of Disney princesses. Her dark hair was barely visible beneath her matching pink knit hat. She was yanking on her father's arm, trying to get his attention, with whines and mumbled complaints.

Her parents looked exhausted, clearly already tired out by their sightseeing. The mother dug around in her purse and then handed the girl a granola bar, which the kid gobbled down in under a minute. It didn't keep her mollified long.

"Daddy...can we go somewhere else? This is so boring. Just another old church."

Seb gritted his teeth, wondering if they should also follow the girl's suggestion and leave. Come back another day when it wasn't so busy. The line seemed to hardly be moving.

But they were already here, and they had plans for the other days. Might as well wait it out.

Turning sideways, he watched the annoying girl, remembering being dragged to things like this by his parents at her age. Looking up to the top of the towers, Seb exaggerated his motions a little, tilting his head from side to side.

Before long, the girl was giving him a funny look. "What are you doing?"

Giving a little bit of a smirk, Seb glanced back at her. "Looking for the Hunchback, of course. He lives up there, right?"

She gave a small chuckle, looking upwards at the ancient building, not seeming too convinced. But at least she wasn't whining anymore.

"Don't you remember the movie? That scary old dude makes him live up there, hidden away from everyone, ringing the bells." Seb kept looking upwards as he spoke. "I liked when he slid down the rain gutter, and sat on the gargoyle, singing..."

She shot him another look, a little more amused this time. "A singing hunchback?"

"It's a Disney movie. Everybody sings. I remember him looking out over Paris, and singing, _'A whole new world, a dazzling place I never knew, but when I'm way up here, it's crystal clear, that now I'm in a whole new world with you...'"_ Seb sang softly to her, and out of the corner of his eye, saw Kurt give him an amused glance.

She harrumphed. "That's from Aladdin."

"Oh yeah..." Seb could tell she was almost laughing, and didn't mind making a bit of a spectacle of himself. He made a pondering expression. "What was that song? I can almost remember it… Oh, I know now... _'I wanna be where the people are, I wanna see, wanna see them dancing, walking around on those, what do you call 'em?'"_

"'Feet'. That's from Little Mermaid." She shot back.

Seb knew he heard a couple giggles from the girl that time, and much preferred them to her whining. "Can you help me? I can't remember the song."

She grinned shyly at him, but shook her head.

Looking upwards, Seb thought some more. "I remember him looking down at the townspeople, wanting to be with them. _'Little town It's a quiet village, Ev'ry day, Like the one before, Little town, Full of little people-'"_

"That's from 'Beauty and the Beast'!" The girl interrupted, giggling.

"Oh, shoot...you are right!" Seb grinned her way.

He kept up the game, singing a few lines from other Disney songs. Usually, the girl would shout out the answer quickly. Sometimes, she didn't know it, and her parents eventually gave it.

The line moved slowly along, and then up almost four hundred steps to emerge at the roofline. The Eiffel Tower in the distance, the Seine below, gargoyles perched around everywhere.

By then, Seb was singing 'I Wanna Be Like You' from the Jungle Book with his new friend.

"Mister, can I get a picture with you?" The girl asked, resisting when her parents tried to tug her along.

The father shot Seb a questioning look, "Would that be OK...?"

"Sebastian." He supplied.

The girl giggled, and he playfully glared at her. "Do you have a problem with that?"

She smirked. "It's the name of the crab in Little Mermaid!"

"Maybe I'm named after him." He winked at her, and did his best imitation of the crab's lines. "Now, we got to make a plan to get that boy to kiss you. Tomorrow, when he takes you for that ride, you gotta look your best! You gotta bat your eyes, like this." He batted his eyes at Kurt.

"You gotta pucker up your lips, like this…" Seb said, sticking his lips out as far as he could as he said it, and was almost smirking when he heard her laughing.

Kurt grabbed his head, and planted a big, noisy kiss on him.

Seb made a shocked face when Kurt pulled back, and looked down at his new friend. "Oh my god! It worked!"

That had her laughing hard, her parents joining in, and obviously not disturbed at all by Kurt and Seb being a couple. It wasn't long before her parents were posing her between Kurt and Seb in front of the view, a huge grin on her face. After they took the pictures, the father pulled Seb to the side. "Thanks so much for entertaining Matilda. She normally hates historic sites like this."

They exchanged email information, so the father could send him a copy of the picture, and pretty soon, the family was heading down the stairs, Matilda giving them a big smile as she waved goodbye.

Grabbing Kurt's hand, Seb gave it a squeeze as they looked back out over the breathtaking views together.

…

Seb took a bite of his cassoulet, savouring the subtle blend of herbs. As he reached for his wine glass, he caught Kurt giving him a speculative look.

“What? Do I have sauce on my chin or something?” He rubbed his cloth napkin over his lips quickly.

Chuckling lightly, Kurt shook his head. “Nothing like that. I was just pondering how you got to know Disney songs so well. Did you watch the movies a lot as a kid? Belong to a choir?”

Rolling his eyes a little, Seb wasn’t too surprised Kurt was teasing him about this. He had seen Kurt sneaking glances at him with Matilda, his eyes dropping back to his book whenever Seb looked his way.

“I told you I belonged to an a cappella group in high school.” Seb shifted in his chair, and took a long sip of wine.

Kurt’s sharp eyes pinned him, and he gave a dismissive scoff. “I doubt they featured Disney classics. Come on, ‘fess up. If you didn’t watch them as a kid, then when?”

Sighing, Seb knew he would have to tell the truth, no matter how embarrassing. “Um, last year, um...during the loops...”

Kurt outright laughed at that, his musical chuckles making other diners turn their way with grins. “So, faced with infinite time, you decided it was an opportunity to brush up on your knowledge gap in that area?”

“It was Gareth’s fault! He got me hooked!” Seb shot back defensively, and then looked away, realizing how dumb those statements sounded.

Reaching across the table, Kurt squeezed his hand consolingly. “It started with ‘The Lion King’, and before you knew it you were singing ‘Hakuna Matata’ in the shower without even realizing it?”

Seb shot him a glare from beneath lowered brows. “It means no worries, for the rest of your days.”

Usually, Seb was the one who smirked the most, but Kurt was challenging that tonight. “Gareth is the stoner guy, right?” Seb had introduced Kurt to him when they met in passing in Boulder, just like he had with everyone else he knew a little too well in that town, downplaying it to not rouse Kurt’s questions.

Seb nodded, knowing it would be better to just come clean. “I guess I was a bit blue, probably over you, and went to hang out with him. We smoked up, and he put on this scene he said was really freaky to watch when messed up.” 

“‘Pink Elephants On Parade’ from Dumbo?” Kurt laughed, loving bugging his boyfriend. 

Seb squirmed in his chair, and dropped his eyes as he mumbled “No, ‘Everybody Wants to Be a Cat’.” 

That set Kurt off, laughing so hard he had to excuse himself to go to the washroom, so he wouldn’t bother the other diners. 

Seb ate his dinner, a little tempted to do something to Kurt’s in retribution, but resisted the urge. The problem with telling the truth was it didn’t always show your best side. 

The corner of Kurt’s lips kept pulling into a bit of a smirk when he sat back down and resumed eating. Seb avoided his gaze, just wanting to finish his meal in peace. 

It was only when they were sharing cheesecake over coffee that Kurt spoke again, calmed down a little more. “So, watching that scene from ‘The Aristocats’ started it all. A ‘gateway’ clip, if you will, that got you trying out other Disney movies?” 

“Maybe.” It was all Seb was willing to admit at this point, heartedly tired of the whole topic. “Look, it started out just watching certain scenes, and then he’d show me more, and before I knew it we were watching whole movies. He owns them ALL. But sitting in some stoner’s basement watching old kids movies was a lot better than other stuff I could have gotten into.” 

Kurt tilted his head to the side a little. “Oh, I assumed you were still doing all that too. Didn’t you say you were on gay hookup apps a lot?” 

Seb shot him a glare, crossing his arms over his chest. “I was, having a great time, until you screwed that up entirely.” 

“Me? What did I do?” Kurt chuckled again, amused by everything tonight, it seemed. 

Closing his eyes, Seb regretted bringing it up. Well, he couldn’t evade talking about this now. He looked back at Kurt with a small sigh. “I tried for months to woo you, date you, but it only got as far as going out to dinner and hanging out at the Dead Guy festival. A couple hot kisses and a date planned for the weekend. So frustrating.” 

Kurt nodded, seeming intrigued. 

“When I finally gave up, I tried hooking up with a different guy, but it didn’t work. I just wasn’t into it.” Shrugging one shoulder, Seb finished off his coffee. “I knew I had no chance with you, and I was pretty depressed for a while. Gareth and those movies helped pull me out of my funk.” 

Kurt paid the bill, and took Seb’s hand as they left the bistro. “Well, I’m just glad Gareth was introducing you to that stuff, and not stuff that could really harm you.” 

Seb shuddered at the thought. On his lowest days, he probably would have been open to trying hard drugs, knowing the physical effects would be erased by the time loop. Could he have gotten addicted to the feeling though, the high and the detachment from everything? 

They caught a taxi, snuggling in the back, and Seb relaxed against his boyfriend. This was much better than he had expected the day to go, after the intense discussion last night. He’d take Kurt in his arms, happy and humming softly as he nuzzled closer, anytime. 

As they neared the hotel, the tune he was humming became a little louder, and Seb glared at Kurt. “That’s ‘Can You Feel the Love Tonight?’!!” He poked Kurt hard in his side. 

Kurt squirmed away, laughing, trying to grab Seb’s fast hands as things dissolved into tickles and poking him wherever he could. 

...

-A/N: OK...there were a lot of Disney references in this chapter... I hope it worked OK. I think I needed something lighter for the boys after all those hard discussions they had. 

-French Mystery Novel: Kurt is reading 'Alex' by Pierre Lemaitre (2011), winner of the CWA International Dagger award. "Set mostly in Paris, the book challenges expectations about aggression, gender and the conventions of crime fiction itself. This is a book for people who are looking for pace, and aren't upset by graphic violence. The early scenes are gruelling and seem predictable thriller fare until the story twists so dramatically that it leaves the reader breathless." (Goodreads)

-Notre Dame: This medieval catholic cathedral was completed in 1345, and one of the finest examples of French Gothic architecture. It is one of the first buildings to use flying buttresses, needed to support the thin walls as it was constructed. Wikipedia: "Many small individually crafted statues were placed around the outside to serve as column supports and water spouts. Among these are the famous gargoyles, designed for water run-off, and chimeras." These monsters were thought to keep demons and evil forces away from the sacred walls that protect the community of churchgoers, by scaring them away. Rainwater coming out of gargoyles [here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NfmPFNW9as)

-Hunchback of Notre Dame: Victor Hugo published this novel in 1831, 'largely to make his contemporaries more aware of the value of the Gothic architecture, which was neglected and often destroyed to be replaced by new buildings or defaced by replacement of parts of buildings in a newer style'. (Wikipedia) It was set in 1482, and had gypsy Esmeralda capturing the hearts of many men, including the hunchback Quasimodo and his guardian, Archdeacon Claude Frollo. Conflicted by his lust, he ordered Quasimodo to kidnap her, but some of her other admirers saved her. A few plot twist later, she is about to be hanged for a crime she didn't commit, and Quasimodo swings down by bell rope of Notre Dame and carries her inside, safe under the law of sanctuary. I won't reveal what happens after that. 'The enormous popularity of the book in France spurred the nascent historical preservation movement in that country and strongly encouraged Gothic revival architecture. Ultimately it led to major renovations at Notre-Dame in the 19th century led by Eugène Viollet-le-Duc. Much of the cathedral's present appearance is a result of this renovation.' (Wikipedia)

-Disney film version (1996): The plot centers on Quasimodo, the deformed bell-ringer of Notre Dame, and his struggle to gain acceptance into society. The film is considered to be one of Disney's darkest animated films as its narrative explores such mature themes as infanticide, lust, damnation, genocide, and sin, despite the changes made from the original source material in order to ensure a G rating. The song Seb is trying to remember is 'Out There'. Video [here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxFD7Tk8Kps) Start song at 1 min mark.

-Sebastian the Crab: Quick 10 second clip of Sebastian's flirting lesson [here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1zphe2lWDQ)

-Everybody Wants to Be a Cat: A jazzy number that gets going around the 1.5 min mark. Clip is [here.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4rrXR6n0RTY) The Aristocats was released in 1970, set in 1910 Paris, ‘around a family of aristocratic cats, and how an alley cat acquaintance helps them after a butler has kidnapped them to gain his mistress's fortune which was intended to go to them’. (Wikipedia). The mother cat, Duchess, was voiced by Eva Gabor. 

-Trippiest disney scenes [here.](https://www.buzzfeed.com/heatherb89/the-10-trippiest-scenes-from-animated-disney-films-iec8?utm_term=.ghEavOLZN#.mhvgA7KXp)


	5. February 4th

“I can’t believe you are lost!” Kurt grumbled, trailing after Seb. 

Looking back at his boyfriend with a sigh, Seb held back from snapping a sharp reply. Kurt looked a little tired from all the walking today, and he could get a little cranky when he was hungry. ‘Hangry’, wasn’t that what they called it? Plus, beneath all that, Seb could see he was a little nervous. 

Taking his hand, Seb pulled him closer. “Relax. She’ll love you.” He couldn’t resist stealing a kiss. 

“Being late is hardly the best first impression.” Kurt said with a small huff. He looked incredible tonight, really dressed with more care than normal. Brave fashion choices, good designers, all assembled with his keen eye. Seb especially loved the way his dark burgundy pants hugged the curve of his ass. 

Chuckling, Kurt pulled Seb’s hands away when they slipped downwards. “Stop that. Only looking, no touching, until we’re back at the hotel.”

“Can I at least hold your hand?” Seb said, making his eyes as flirty as possible. Trying to flatter Kurt into a better mood. 

Rolling his eyes a little, Kurt stepped closer to wrap his arm around his waist. “How about this instead?” 

Seb returned the gesture, cuddling Kurt against his side as they walked through the residential community. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was a little nervous too. This was a big step. He tried to just savor this moment though, walking in Paris with his man. 

...

Seb knocked on the door, giving Kurt’s hand a little squeeze. 

“ _Mon Cher!_ You are finally here!” A slim woman in her mid-fifties stood in the open doorway, and flung herself at Sebastian, kissing him on both cheeks enthusiastically before yanking him into the apartment for a hard hug. 

Chuckling, Seb pulled back, looking down at the petite woman, her green eyes so similar to his own. Giving her a shy smile, he took her hand. “ _Maman_ , I’d like you to meet Kurt Hummel. Kurt, this is Anne-Valerie Smythe.”

Kurt stepped closer. “It’s so nice to finally meet you, Madame Smythe. Sebastian talks about you often.” 

Seb recognized his pleasant smile and good posture from the times they had been in court together. It was his ‘make a good impression’ approach, but Seb could see his tension just below the surface. 

His mother could probably see it too. She took in Kurt with warm eyes, looking him over approvingly. She turned to look at Seb. _”Bien joué, Sebastian. C'est un si bel homme.”_. (Well done. He’s a handsome man.)

Closing the door, Seb chuckled. “Kurt’s French is better than mine is. He understood that.” 

With a Gallic shrug, she gathered Kurt into a long tight hug. When she pulled back, she kissed him on both cheeks. _”Intelligent et magnifique. Pas étonnant que mon fils soit frappé.”_ (Smart and gorgeous. No wonder my son is smitten.)

Kurt relaxed a lot with the warm greeting and approval. _”Désolé nous sommes si en retard. Sebastian nous a perdu.”_ (Sorry we are so late. Sebastian got us lost.)

Helping Kurt off with his coat, Seb shot him a playful glare. “Yes, but you have to admit we would have never found that bridge otherwise. Or that bakery.” 

Kurt had been in a bit of a bad mood, and Seb has basically hauled him into the store when they passed by it. He told Kurt that they needed to bring a gift for his mother, but also got a bag of treats for them. Walking on, they stopped on a bridge while Seb checked the map on his phone. 

Opening the bag, he pulled out a chocolate croissant and held it out to Kurt. “Come on, I know it’s your favorite.” He couldn’t easily solve being lost or late, but he could give Kurt some food. Hopefully improve his mood. 

Kurt stared at the pastry, clearly hungry and tempted. “I can’t. We are right about to have supper at your mother’s! Plus the flakes with be messy.”

Rolling his eyes, Seb shoved the roll into Kurt’s hand and took off his own scarf. Stepping behind Kurt, Seb wrapped it around his neck a couple times, letting it drape down his chest. “There. The crumbs will go on my scarf. Eat! I’ll call my mom and get directions. Let her know we are running late.”

Seb turned away, pulling out his phone and making the call. As he talked quietly with his mother, he watched Kurt out of the corner of his eye, practically devouring half of the treat in a couple bites. Then he paused, looking down at it in wonder, and took slow small bites after that, closing his eyes to savor it. 

Chuckling to himself, Seb finished the call and snuck a few pictures. The sun had just set, and there was still a glow of soft light everywhere. The magic hour. And Kurt, in that light, with the Parisian backdrop, was simply breathtaking. 

Stepping closer, Seb looked down at his boyfriend, who had just finished the croissant. He opened his eyes, looking up at Seb. “That was the most incredible one I’ve ever eaten.” He looked a little blissed out.

“Well, this is Paris. And you were really hungry. Want another one?” Seb lifted the paper bag and gave it a shake. 

He could see the war going on inside Kurt’s head, desire for more but also not wanting to spoil his appetite even worse. “Split it with me?” 

Seb nodded, and Kurt took it out of the bag, holding it up for him to take a bite. Taking one himself, and seeing his pleasure, his enjoyment, of the decadent treat. The flakey buttery layers, the rich dark chocolate. Sharing the experience. 

They brushed away the crumbs from their clothes, chuckling, and Kurt shook out Seb’s scarf, handing it back. 

“Hmmmm...I think you missed a spot.” Seb whispered, pulling Kurt close. He leaned in, kissing the side of his mouth and flicking his tongue over his skin. Shifting into a deep kiss, tasting the chocolate, just wanting more. More Kurt. 

Kurt’s face reddened slightly at the memory, and he gave the pastry box to Anne-Valerie. “Um, yes... _Ceci est pour vous. De cette boulangerie._ ”. (This is for you. From that bakery.)

She opened it. _”Miella. Mon préféré!”_ (Miella. My favorite!) Giving them both a fond look, she ushered them into the living room, and soon had them drinking red wine while she finished things up in the kitchen. 

Seb gave Kurt’s hand a squeeze. “You are doing well. She really likes you.”

There was a knock on the door, and Anne-Valerie was there in a flash, welcoming another guest. She turned to the boys with a sweet smile. “Sebastian, do you remember Gaétan? It has been a long time.” 

Standing up, Seb took in the tall, slim man standing at his mother’s side. His hair was mostly grey, but with some strands of blond mixed in. Most distinctive were his bright blue eyes. Those clicked an old memory into place, of this man visiting his parents during his childhood vacations in France. 

“Gaétan! Of course. It’s been a long time.” Seb shook his hand with a warm smile, before turning to introduce Kurt.

Pretty soon, they were settled at the dining room table, speaking only in French since it was easier for Anne-Valerie. 

“So, what are you planning to do while you are here?” Gaétan asked as he poured out more red wine for everyone.

Seb reached over to take Kurt’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “Well, we have almost two weeks, so we want to do everything.” 

Kurt rolled his eyes at Seb’s comment. “He means we will see most of the major sites, and still have time to relax, enjoy the scenery and great dining. Already, we’ve seen Notre-Dame, Champs-Élysées, and The Louvre.”

“Thank you, Maman, for letting us stay here for the week. It will be nice to try living like regular Parisians.” Seb took a bite of his fish, the flavors bringing back so many memories. 

She gave an elegant shrug. “I am away on business, so you are doing me a favor, taking care of the place. Please, make yourselves at home.”

“When you are back Friday, we will make you dinner to thank you. Gaétan, you are welcome to join us too.” Kurt smiled at them both, now quite comfortable after a couple glasses of wine.

The older man gave a nod of acknowledgement. “Are you going outside of Paris at all?”

Seb nodded. “Versailles, of course. What else is good to see this time of year?”

Kurt leaned against Seb. “Well, I definitely want to take a train somewhere.”

“Want to reenact the ending of ‘Umbrellas of Cherbourg' with me, _mon amour?”_ Seb gave him a warm look. 

Kurt looked back at Gaétan and Anne-Valerie, slightly embarrassed. “Um, Sebastian has a particular fondness for that musical.”

Gaétan chuckled. “Well, just remember that in France, it’s illegal to kiss while the train is at the platform.”

Rolling his eyes, Seb laughed. “That is such bullshit!” 

Anne-Valerie placed her hand over Gaétan’s. “He’s a lawyer.”

“So am I, and I’m good at spotting fabrications.” Seb playfully glared at Gaétan, calling his bluff. 

Gaétan wasn’t offended by the challenge, simply shrugging one shoulder. “Research it later if you want. The rule was put into place to keep amorous couples from delaying the train schedule.”

“Only in France.” Kurt chuckled, sipping his wine. 

Anne-Valerie grinned back at him. “You are in The City of Love.” She gave him an accessing look. “So, Kurt, what are your intentions in regards to my son?”

“And you should know French parents have the legal right to prevent their adult children from getting married.” Gaétan interjected, with a smirk. 

Seb’s mother winked at him, and turned back to pin Kurt with a level look. Her green eyes were so much like Seb’s, her pretty face not showing many signs of her age aside from a few laugh lines. Her dark blond hair was in a well-styled shoulder length bob. 

“Um...well...we haven’t...,” Kurt stammered, looking towards Seb. 

Wrapping an arm along the back of Kurt’s chair, Seb glared back at his mother. “We’ve only been together a year now, and we are taking it one day at a time. I’m just lucky he puts up with me at all.”

“A year is plenty of time. Time enough to know each other well.” Anne-Valerie prodded, as only a mother could. 

Seb felt a pang of unease. They were still learning so much about each other, and then there was adjusting to what Seb had revealed just a few days ago. Kurt had asked some questions, but he was still not the same as before around Seb. Still a little reserved. 

Deciding to turn the tables in defense, Seb looked accessingly at his mother and their long-term family friend. “And what about you two? Gaétan, you have teased and flirted with my mother for years. What are your intentions?”

The question caused discomfort in them both, shifting away from each other a little and sharing awkward glances. Seb swore he could even see his mother flush a little. He had asked the question in jest, but this reaction clearly showed there was something going on. 

“Sebastian, you know Gaétan was a close friend of your father’s. He even came out to the funeral.” Anne-Valerie said softly. 

Nodding, Seb thought back to that painful time. He had felt so numb and detached from everything. His mother had clung to him during the service, weeping during much of it. He vaguely remembered Gaétan hugging him at the reception afterwards, part of the sea of people offering their condolences to them. Seb had never felt more alone in his life. 

Kurt’s hand took his, giving it a warm squeeze, showing he was there. Seb shot him a grateful look, seeing the caring in his expression. When he glanced at his mother, he saw Gaétan giving her a similar concerned look. 

Standing up, Seb pulled Kurt with him. “Well, we should get going, give you time to get ready for your business trip and everything.” 

Wiping away a tear from her cheek, Anne-Valerie went to open a drawer. She passed Seb a key ring. “Here are the keys. The doorman knows you will be coming tomorrow.”

They said their goodbyes, thanking her for the lovely meal. She gave Seb a long, tight hug. “Kurt is fantastic. I love him already, almost as much as you do.” 

Her whisper almost had Seb shedding a tear as well. He sighed. “Perhaps too fantastic. What is a man like that doing with me?” 

“Don’t be a fool. Fight for him, for your love. Your life together.” She was perceptive, knowing her son well enough now to see that he was troubled. 

Kissing her cheek, Seb nodded. _“Oui, Maman. Bon voyage.”_ This next week would be a real test for them, living together in a normal apartment. Would they get along? Could it be something they could do back home? He was half-excited, half-terrified.

 

...

-A/N: Sorry it’s taken a little while to update. Thanks for your patience. :D

-French Gestures: Quick! What does it mean when the French put their fist in front of their nose and twist it downwards? Find out [ here.](https://www.thelocal.fr/20170216/the-5-french-gesticulations-you-need-to-know)

-Miella: The bakeries in France are full of tasty treats. Anne-Valerie likes almond honey squares called _miella_. Recipe [ here.](https://www.davidlebovitz.com/caramelized-almond-honey-squares-recipe/)

-Strange French Laws: Apparently, it really is illegal to kiss when the train is at the station, and French parents can prevent their adult children from getting married. This actually happened in 2010 when a Frenchman’s family stepped in to block his marriage to a Chinese woman the parents believed was seeking to protect her immigration status. More info [ here.](https://www.thelocal.fr/20161027/the-strangest-rules-from-frances-law-book)

-French: I know a little, but this is mostly Google Translate. 


	6. February 7th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updating. At least this is a long-ish chapter... (even longer with all the notes!)

_So good. Don’t stop...._

The dream was becoming more erotic, with the sweaty, beautiful go-go dancer moving to press against him. Dark eyeliner made his blue eyes look enormous, a naughty glint in them before the man lowered his face to Seb’s neck, kissing, sucking, biting. 

Seb could only moan, tilting his head back for more. His hands went to the younger man’s shoulders, feeling the slight roughness of the glitter over his bare skin.

The dancer shoved him against a wall, not caring that they were in a crowded nightclub, the beat thumping as loud as Seb’s heart. Kissing his way downwards. Seb arched his hips towards the man, too aroused to be subtle. 

A sexy chuckle escaped from the dancer as he looked up at Seb, his eyes closing to show messy purple eye shadow, his mouth opening to take Seb in.

 _Yes....yes, yes, yes..._ Seb groaned, his hand going to the back of his neck, and he froze, his cock deep in the man’s throat. 

Seb woke with a gasp, blinking at his surroundings. Nothing matched his erotic dream. He was in a big double bed, no music playing, lying on his back. 

The only thing the same was that he was rock hard, and Kurt was looking up at him, his eyes full of sinful promise like the twink at the nightclub as he sucked Seb back down deep. His hand was in Kurt’s hair, clenching slightly.

“Fuck....Kurt...” Seb moaned. It was something they both did occasionally, playing around with the other while they slept, seeing how far they could go before the other man woke up. Seb always seemed to have vivid erotic dreams, matching what Kurt was doing, waking up as he got closer to orgasm. 

Pulling out of Kurt’s mouth, Seb rolled on to his side. Kurt changed position on the bed also, and Seb could only grin. _Soixante neuf..._. Opening wide, he took Kurt deep, too aroused to go slow. Kurt groaned, and moved to drag his lips over Seb, teasing him.

Seb wanted Kurt as close to the edge as he was, so sucked and licked him hard, savoring the way he was pleasuring him in return. They rocked together, gasps and small moans escaping occasionally, their excitement feeding into each other. 

A few minutes later, they were sharing lazy kisses. Seb grinned at Kurt. “I was having the hottest dream, some twink going down on me at a nightclub. Then I woke up, and it was you.”

“Oh, did I spoil everything?” Kurt asked, with a mischievous smirk, completely unrepentant.

Seb loved this side of Kurt. Saucy, sexy and playful. “No, you made it ten times hotter.”

Kurt raised an eyebrow at that. “Tell me more about this dream twink. Is that the type of guy you normally went for?”

 _Hmmm...was that a bit of jealousy?_ Seb stretched, rolling on to his back. He closed his eyes, trying to remember his dream. “I hardly have a ‘type’. I’m attracted to many kinds of guys. He was your just typical twink - early twenties, not much body hair, slim, cute face. Wearing purple eye shadow and dark eyeliner to really play up his blue eyes.”

Kurt rolled his own blue eyes at that. “You like make-up on men?”

Seb shrugged. “Sure, why not? In a club scene, where guys are hardly wearing anything, it’s fun to see them in tiny booty shorts and body glitter. You don’t like it? Don’t like guys to be too feminine?”

Closing his eyes for a minute, Kurt finally opened them, looking back at Seb lazily. “Perhaps I’m sensitive about it because I could never pass as straight. I have more feminine features, especially when I was younger. They even asked me to play Frank ‘n Furter from Rocky Horror when we did the musical in high school, and I refused.”

“You would have been great in that role! You have that raunchy, sexy side for sure.” Seb could easily picture his boyfriend dressed as Frank. 

Kurt chuckled softly, snuggling back against Seb’s side, pulling the covers around them. “Hmmmmmm, OK.” He seemed to be relaxing back into sleep.

Seb sighed in exasperation. “Kurt, wake up. You said you wanted to go to the catacombs today. We should get moving.” 

He hated nagging his boyfriend, but being with him a year had taught Seb how long it took Kurt to get ready in the mornings. His skin, shaving and hair routines were extensive, and then it took forever to select his clothes for the day. He was pretty efficient on workdays, but on weekends it seemed to take the whole morning. Seb could never seem to rush him. 

They had been at Anne-Valerie’s apartment for a few days, and Kurt seemed to sleep in even longer than he had at the hotel. Seb was still waking up fairly early, and he often brought breakfast to Kurt in bed, hoping that would get him up afterwards. But just like when they had morning sex, Kurt would roll over and happily sleep for another hour or two. 

It was especially irritating since Kurt had been mentioning all the things he still wanted to do in Paris. They had just a week left and they were heading out of the city for the weekend. Seb looked down at Kurt, pondering if he should bring that up or let him sleep more. 

Sighing, he got out of bed. Going to the tiny kitchen, he made himself an espresso and toast. He changed into some workout wear, and left Kurt a note before slipping out of the apartment. 

It was around 9 am, and most of the morning rush had died down. Seb headed south, a direction he hadn’t gone yet. After a couple blocks to warm up, he shifted into a faster speed, weaving through the pedestrians. 

Some mornings, he hopped on the metro and got off at a random stop, exploring the area during his run. He had come across many unusual sights along the way, like the quarter-sized replica of the Statue of Liberty.

Cooling down from another run, he had wandered through the infamous Pere Lachaise cemetery to see Oscar Wilde’s tomb. A tomb nearby seemed to be getting a lot of visitors, although Seb didn’t recognize the name of Victor Noir. Flowers surrounded the life-sized bronze effigy of the man lying on his back, and many people took their turns posing for selfies beside him. The dull green tone of oxidized metal was strangely rubbed away on the statue’s groin, the prominent bulge in his pants being touched by so many people over the years. 

He had also run through Marias, an area with many gay bars and businesses. High on a wall was a massive brass automated clock of a man defending himself with a sword and shield against a bird, a dragon, and a crab, representing air, land and sea respectively. Although it hadn’t worked for over a decade, Seb admired the fine craftsmanship, and related to the man. He was helpless against time as well, caught in time loops for months and his life forever changed by them. 

This run, he ended up jogging around Ile de la Cite, the island in the Seine with the Notre Dame cathedral at one end. He stopped in the public square to catch his breath and take a sip of water. There was an older woman there, staring intently at the ground. Something about it made him curious and he moved closer. Amongst the cobbles was a circle carved with the words _‘Point Zero. Des routes de France’._ The centre was made of brass with the imprint of a sun. 

“This is the exact centre of France, with all distances marked from here.” The woman volunteered, her dark eyes crinkling up when they caught Seb’s, her British accent making it obvious where she was from. “I know it’s probably just a stupid superstition, but I’m going to do this anyways.” 

Before Seb could ask what, she planted a foot on the sun, closed her eyes tight, and spun herself around in a circle balancing on just the one foot. 

Chuckling, she stepped away. “It’s supposed to give you your heart’s desire.” She seemed a little embarrassed, and quickly left before Seb could say anything. 

Staring down at the sun, Seb scoffed at himself. Should he do it? What should he ask for? There was only one thing that came to mind. _Kurt._

Despite times like this morning, great sex and joking around, they were only moments, glimpses, of how they used to be together. More often, Kurt was withdrawn and quiet. How much of it was Kurt working through Seb’s secret? Would Kurt ever fully accept it and love Seb again? 

Stepping onto the ancient metal sun, Seb closed his eyes and tilted his face upwards. He pictured Kurt, and let his love for the man well up, fill him entirely. _Please, please let Kurt love me again. Love me, fully and completely, past and all._

Not caring how silly he looked, Seb held that wish in his thoughts, and pushed off with one foot to spin on the other. His runners weren’t the best shoes for this, but he did an adequate spin before losing his balance. 

Taking out his phone, he took a picture of the ancient marker. After everything that had happened to him, he was no longer one to scoff at things beyond our understanding. 

...

“Oh my God, Look at that...” Seb said softly to Kurt, nudging him with his shoulder. 

Kurt followed his gaze and giving a slight shrug before turning away to follow the tour group. 

Letting out a small sigh, Seb trailed behind him. Kurt had been distant like this quite often in the last week. It was such a difference to how they normally were together, standing close and often holding hands or with an arm slung around the other’s waist. Sharing comments and jokes. Sharing the experience. 

But since he had told the truth, Kurt had kept to himself most of the time. There were a few moments that reminded Seb of the past, enough to give him hope, but he found he was practically begging for Kurt’s attention. It almost felt like they were only polite friends, not boyfriends. 

“It looks like the bones are mostly skulls and thigh bones. Femurs.” Seb commenting, still trying to get Kurt talking. 

They walked by a wall with a carved stone cross. A row of skulls ran horizontal to the ground near the base of the cross. A wavy line of skulls arched over the cross and along the wall. Closely stacked leg bones filled the rest of the space. 

Perhaps Kurt was being quiet due to being in this ‘empire of death’. Even though the bones were centuries old, the sheer volume of bones lining their path was staggering. The guide had said there were six million bodies, and Seb believed it.

When they exited a half hour later, Seb guided Kurt to a park bench. “Are you OK? That wasn’t too macabre for you?” He gave him a concerned look. Kurt had experienced the death of more close family members than Seb had. 

Kurt gave a huff, and shot Seb a bit of a glare. “I’m just glad to be out of there.”

Seb felt immediately defensive. “Hey, you were the one who wanted to see it. I wanted to go to the Picasso museum.” 

“I never said that! You just acted like it was on the schedule all along.” Kurt snapped back.

Lowering his brows, Seb searched his memories. “I know you mentioned it, said how interesting you thought it would be...”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “It was probably some old time loop. That other Kurt said it, and I have fuck-all idea why.” 

It was hard to not respond to Kurt’s tone. Seb took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. Kurt seemed a bit tired and was likely hungry. Seb knew it was best to just find food before this squabbling blossomed into a true fight. 

“Come on. There’s a _patisserie_ in the next block.” 

Kurt perked up a little at the suggestion, following Seb. The bakery was quiet this time of day, but still had many great choices left. Their macaroons looked particularly delicious, and they ordered many to sample. 

_“16 €, s’il vous plait.”_

Seb reached into his pocket and then froze. _Oh shit._ This day was just getting worse. “Kurt, I left my wallet back at the apartment. Can you pay?”

“Why is it there?” Kurt looked at him like he was an idiot as he pulled out a credit card and handed it to the clerk. 

Sighing, Seb tried to keep his cool. “I had it out to order the catacomb tickets online this morning. Must have forgot to grab it later.”

 _“Monsieur...”_ The blond bakery clerk shook her head and leaned closer to Kurt as she passed his card back, talking softly to him in French.

“Rejected?!! Try it again.” Kurt pushed the card back towards her, and she reluctantly took it.

Seb tensed up. “You are over your limit? We never should have gone into _BHV Homme Marais_.” The men’s department store had been packed full of amazing fashions, and they had both left with several bags. 

“There’s plenty of room!” Kurt growled, grabbing the card back from the clerk and stomping out of the bakery. He looked around and headed towards a bank, likely to see what could be done. They still had a week of vacation left, and he needed his credit card. 

“You didn't to call the company to tell them you’d be in Paris? I warned you.” Seb said softly as they waited in the bank line. The credit card company likely had suspended Kurt’s card, thinking the excessive spending in another country was unusual activity. 

Kurt was in an even worse mood by the time they got to the teller, waving his credit card and speaking so fast Seb had a hard time understanding. His French wasn’t as good. 

Fifteen minutes later, Kurt stomped away again, calling the credit card company on his cell. Would they even be open with the time zone difference?

Seb could see by Kurt’s expression that he was in an awful mood. No point trying to talk to him or offering help right now. Kurt didn’t have many bad days, but Seb had learned the hard way to give him a bit of space when they occurred. He caught Kurt’s eye, and signalled that he was going outside, barely getting an eye roll in response. 

It was late afternoon and local people seemed to be walking home from work, many in nice suits and business attire. Seb was still amazed at the fashion sense of the average Parisian. He sat on a low wall, feeling his tension unwinding as he people-watched. 

He felt bad for forgetting his wallet. How would they get back to the apartment if Kurt couldn’t get his credit card active again? He usually didn’t carry cash. 

Seb checked his pockets just in case he had some money in them and came up empty. Four fucking euros for the metro and they could get back to the apartment. Get some supper. Seb was feeling very hungry now, and Kurt probably was as well, likely making his mood even worse. 

He pulled out his harmonica and started playing softly to himself. He usually carried it with him, and found it helped him think.

He was kind of in his own zone when a businessman in a dark suit stopped near him. ” _Beau.”_ He passed Seb a coin, and walked on.

Chuckling, Seb looked after the retreating man, shaking his head, and then to the coin, flipping it over. It was a fifty-euro cent coin. Taking off his knit hat, Seb set it upside down on the sidewalk in front of him, and put the coin inside so it was easily visible. 

With a small smirk, he lifted his harmonica to his mouth, and played a little louder. He picked the old Beatles song “I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends” and nodded in gratitude each time a passing local threw a coin or two into his hat.

He was getting more confident with each song, playing a little louder, and some more challenging songs. There were even a couple commuters gathering to watch him, nodding along as they enjoyed his music. Closing his eyes, he concentrated as he started the song he had been trying to master lately, ‘Hook’ by Blues Traveller. 

There was a smattering of applause when he finished the song and Seb opened his eyes, looking around at his small audience, giving a big smile to those that stepped forward to drop money in his hat. His casual perusal stopped when he saw Kurt in the crowd, and sent him a sheepish grin. 

Lifting his harmonica again, he started playing a slow song, something he had been practicing the last few months when Kurt wasn’t around. One of his favourites. Edith Piaf’s iconic _La Vie en Rose._

Kurt gave a small smile, and worked his way through the loosely gathered people to stand beside Seb. His soft voice joined in perfectly. 

_C’est toi pour moi_  
_Moi pour toi, dans la vie_  
_Il me l’a dit, l’a jure pour la vie…_

(It’s only you for me  
And me for you, for life  
He told me, he swore to me for life…)

Kurt’s voice was perfect for the song, his French fluent and smooth. The sweet words of love made Seb’s heart ache, yearning for the days when Kurt said he loved him so sincerely. Was that feeling gone forever?

As the song ended, the audience applauded enthusiastically, with many stepping forward to put coins in the hat, and complimenting Kurt and Seb. A consummate performer at heart, Kurt accepted the praise graciously. Seb was able to pull a tissue from his pocket to dab discretely at his eyes. 

As the crowd dispersed, Kurt turned back to Seb, bending down to pick up the full hat. Chuckling, he counted the coins. “Thirty-two euro!”

Seb shrugged, feeling a little raw. Emotional. “We have enough for a taxi back to the apartment now.” He knew Kurt was tired and hungry, and likely just wanted to get back as fast as possible.

“Or we could get a snack and just take the metro.” Kurt reached over, clasping Seb’s hand and tugging him along. 

It was the first time Kurt had initiated holding hands all week, and Seb felt his heart thrumming in his chest, trying to act normal as they bought drinks and some food from a nearby market. They sat on a park bench, tearing off chunks of bread because they didn’t have a knife, breaking off pieces of blue cheese to eat with the pears. It was messy but delicious, so satisfying after being so hungry. 

“You said I could ask you anything...” Kurt said after a long sip of Perrier. 

Seb nodded, bracing himself. Kurt had been asking a question or two every day about the past, and Seb had tried to be as open and honest as he could be. “Yes, anything.”

Kurt seemed a little hesitant, looking down for a second before he met Seb’s eyes. “Um...I remember our first kiss as being in my condo, when I was a little drunk and practically crawling all over you.”

Smirking slightly at the memory, Seb motioned for Kurt to carry on. 

“What was the first kiss for you? In the time loops?” Kurt’s eyes seemed so blue in the late afternoon sunlight. 

Taking a deep breath, Seb let it out slowly. It was a little embarrassing to explain, but he had promised to tell the whole truth. “It was as perfect a day as I could do, almost like a play. I wore a costume and followed a script. It was the period when I was trying my hardest to seduce you. The last day of all that.” 

Kurt looked very intrigued. “A costume? A script?”

“Everything was based on what you liked. You had mentioned Blaine dressed like a classic Hollywood actor, so I went to a vintage store each morning and bought a three-piece suit, with suspenders. During the meeting with the client, I always took off the jacket and rolled up my sleeves. You always seemed to like that.” Seb shrugged.

Kurt chuckled. “Hmmm...you know I like a well dressed man.” 

Seb thought of the countless times Kurt had attacked him the moment they got home from work, hauling him into the bedroom, nimble fingers undoing his tie and shirt buttons. It was fun to tease and flirt when they saw each other in the office, building it up all day. 

“I’d ask about your work, and we would end up at a restaurant, talking about your childhood, your past. Usually I’d fuck something up by the end of the dinner, and you’d slap me or stomp away.” Seb chuckled to himself, thinking about the number of bad dates he’d had with Kurt. Weeks and weeks of them. 

“But on this perfect day?” Kurt leaned closer, drawn into the story. 

“We came out of the restaurant, and the city was so quiet and beautiful, after the blizzard. Clean, glittering snow making it look almost magical, and you weren’t rushing off. I asked if you wanted to go listen to some music, not wanting the night to end. I was amazed when you agreed.” Seb could easily bring up the memories. 

Kurt shifted a little closer, putting his hand over Seb’s. “Where did you take me?”

Seb looked down at his handsome face, wanting to steal a kiss now, but knew it was important to talk about the past. To clear the air between them. “The Frozen Dead Guy festival. Brian’s band was playing. It was before I knew them, before I knew how to play the harmonica.” He shrugged, still finding it strange. “We danced a little, ties and suit jackets off, but still got hot and thirsty. You ordered a strawberry margarita and I teased you about it.”

“Mmmmm they are so good. I’m craving one now.” Kurt gave a small smile. He seemed to be enjoying hearing this story. 

Seb looked down at his lips, before meeting his eyes again. “I had been attracted to you so long, been trying to get you to like me for months by then. You had quipped back that strawberries and tequila were delicious, and there was a drop of your drink on your lips. I swallowed my nerves, and kissed you, licking up that bit of liquid. When you didn’t shove me away, I finally gave you a good deep kiss. It was so good. Wonderful.”

Kurt blinked slowly, looking over Seb’s face with his sharp gaze. “And then?”

“Some drunk woman poured ice cold slushie down the back of my shirt without even realizing it. I jumped like a scalded cat and you laughed at me, and helped me clean up. You told me about having them thrown in your face in high school.” Seb gave a half grin. 

Kurt shared his smile, his hand coming up to the back of Seb’s head to pull him closer. The kiss was soft and sweet, and Seb savored it. “Thanks for telling me about that.” Getting up, he took Seb’s hand again. “Want to go home now?”

It had been a rollercoaster of a day, flipping between feeling close and intimate, to irritated and distant. Seb simply nodded, giving Kurt’s hand a squeeze. Just happy that there seemed to be more good moments than bad today. That gave Seb hope. Hope that by the end of the trip, they could maybe be back to normal.

...

-A/N: - Sorry it took so long to update this story. I’m very interested in finishing it, but it has been hard to write & seems to want to take it’s time. I think there will be 2 more chapters.

\- The Statue of Liberty was a gift of friendship from the people of France to the people of the United States and is a universal symbol of freedom and democracy. It was dedicated in 1886, helping celebrate 100 year anniversary of US independence. It is 305 feet tall, including the base. USA gave France a 38 foot bronze version in 1889, and it’s tablet bears the date of the US Declaration of Independence (July 4, 1776) and the start of the French Revolution (July 14, 1789). It stands on the Île aux Cygnes, looking southwest down the Seine. More info [here.](https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/statue-of-liberty-pont-de-grenelle)

\- Victor Noir (1848-1870) was an apprentice journalist in Paris when a dispute arose over an article about Napoleon. The men who ran his newspaper were challenged to a duel by Napoleon’s great-nephew, Prince Pierre Bonaparte, to uphold the family’s honor. The newspaper editor appointed Noir and co-worker as his seconds to fix the terms of the duel. Instead of approaching the prince’s seconds, they went directly to the prince, with revolvers in their pockets. The prince refused the challenge, saying he was willing to duel with the publisher, but not his menials. Things escalated, with the prince slapping the other man and shooting Noir dead. The court believed that Noir attacked first, and let the prince off. 

There was a large public outcry, with 100,000 in Victor's funeral procession and many violent demonstrations. His grave in Pere Lachaise Cemetery is marked with a life sized bronze effigy, in a realistic style like he had just fallen in the street. Wikipedia: “The sculpture has a very noticeable protuberance in Noir's trousers. This has made it one of the most popular memorials for women to visit in the famous cemetery. Myth says that placing a flower in the upturned top hat after kissing the statue on the lips and rubbing its genital area will enhance fertility, bring a blissful sex life, or, in some versions, a husband within the year. As a result of the legend, those particular components of the otherwise verdigris (grey-green oxidized bronze) statue are rather well-worn and shiny.” More info [here.](https://www.amusingplanet.com/2017/07/victor-noirs-mysterious-erection.html?m=1)

-Defender of Time Clock: This mechanical work of art was installed in the Marais area of Paris in 1979. Made of brass, it weighs a ton and is four meters high. Every hour between 9 am and 10 pm, the man with a sword and shield would defend himself against either a bird, a dragon or a crab, and three times a day, all three creatures attacked him. Unfortunately, it hasn’t functioned since 2003, but it's still an epic scene of man vs nature, the bird, dragon and crab representing air, land and sea. Video of it working is [here.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GTYzSEXa7KI&feature=youtu.be)

-Paris Point Zero: This octagonal brass plate represents the exact center of Paris, and distances around the country are measure from that point. Embedded in the cobbles of the public square near the Notre-Dame cathedral, it can be hard to spot. Many customs are performed at this spot, including spinning on it, kissing a loved one, or leaving a coin like a wishing well. Video [here.](https://laughingsquid.com/point-zero-a-marker-showing-the-geographic-center-of-paris-were-all-distances-in-france-were-traditionally-measured/)

-Writing Click Moments: I have been trying to write this chapter for a month, and not feeling very satisfied with it. I flipped through books about Paris, watched videos, and googled many websites, taking note of whatever captured my fancy. A few things seemed more suited for a passing mention than being the focus of a scene, so they are here as things Seb saw during his runs. As I wrote up these notes, I was struck that the four things were all made of bronze or brass (both copper alloys), and if you want to look deeper, they could be said to represent Freedom (the Statue of Liberty), Truth (Victor Noir’s tomb), Beauty (Defenders of Time) and Love (Seb making his wish on Paris Point Zero, at the very heart of Paris). An alloy combines metals to take the best characteristics of each, so the end result is stronger and longer lasting. But then again, I could be stretching this symbolism. Haha

-Catacombs: By 1780, burials within the city walls were banned due to the oldest and largest cemetery, Les Innocents, being overcrowded and unsanitary. Due to lack of space, people were being buried in mass graves with up to 1500 bodies. Around the same period, there were many cave-ins from former limestone mines beneath Paris' left bank. As the mines were renovated to be more structurally sound, the idea of filling them with the Parisian dead took hold. By 1787, most of the city's cemeteries had been emptied. In the first years, it was a disorganized bone repository. In 1810, it was renovated to become a visitable mausoleum, stacking skulls and femurs into patterns, and using the cemetery decorations to complement the walls of bones. It was open to the public by 1815. It is said six million bodies have this ossuary as their final resting place, in 300 km of tunnels About 800 m of the space is available to see in the 45 minute tour now. 

-Blues Traveller: A New Jersey blues-rock band that often features harmonica solos by John Popper. In their 1994 song ‘Hook’, the lyrics and chord progression are a satire of a formulaic hit song, using the basic structure of Pachelbel’s _Canon in D_ that is very widely used in popular music, often as the hook (short riff or other musical idea to catch the ear of the listener). The song is about how listeners don’t care about the meaning of the lyrics as the songs musical hook will keep them coming back. _"It doesn't matter what I say / So long as I sing with inflection / That makes you feel that I'll convey / Some inner truth or vast reflection."_ Video [here.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pdz5kCaCRFM) The harmonica solo is at the 2:30 mark.

- _La Vie En Rose_ : This is the signature song of popular French singer Edith Piaf from 1945, covered by dozens of other musicians over the decades like Louis Armstrong, Bing Crosby and Grace Jones. The literal meaning is ‘Life in Pink’ and translates to ‘Life seen through happy lenses’. Wikipedia: “"La Vie en rose" was the song that made Piaf internationally famous, with its lyrics telling about the joy of finding true love and appealing to those who had survived the difficult wartime.” French/English translation in the video [here.](http://www.frenchlyricstranslations.com/la-vie-en-rose-edith-piaf-french-lyrics-and-english-translation/)

-Edith Piaf (1915-1963) was a singer, songwriter, cabaret performer and film actress, specializing in chanson and torch ballads about love, loss and sorrow. Her mother abandoned her at birth, and when her father joined the French army in 1916, he left her with his mother who ran a brothel in Normandy. The prostitutes helped raise her, and at 14, she joined her father in his acrobatic street performances all over France. A year later she began touring the streets with a friend, singing to earn money when not working with her father. She was discovered at the age of 20 by a nightclub owner who changed her last name to Piaf (sparrow) due to her short stature (4’8”), teaching her how to perform on stage and to wear her trademark black. Despite her success, she had a difficult life with the death of her only child, several failed marriages, alcoholism and drug-addiction. She died at 47, and was denied a funeral Mass by the Catholic Church because of her lifestyle. Her funeral ceremony at the cemetery was attended by more than 100,000 fans, bringing Parisian traffic to a complete stop. 


	7. February 9th

Placing the fresh flowers in the centre of the dining room table, Seb backed up a step to make sure everything was in place. The small table was set for three, with cloth napkins and wine glasses. Elegant, but casual.

Glancing over at Kurt in the kitchen, he was just putting the completed cassoulet into the fridge. Seb had already prepared the salad, just needing a quick toss with dressing to be ready. Fresh bread was on the cutting board.

Going over to the closet, Seb took out the small toolbox and carried it over to the bedroom door. He had noticed it was squeaking a little. It didn't take long to oil the hinges and tighten a few screws, getting it moving silently. All week, he had taken a few minutes here and there to do small repairs like this. His mother was busy, and not very handy around the house.

As he put the tools away, he glanced towards Kurt, feeling his gaze. The look was warm and appreciative, and Seb felt a flicker of pleasure at seeing that expression on his face, reminding him of earlier times. But Kurt seemed to catch himself a second later, his eyes cooling before he turned away to wipe down the kitchen counter.

With a sigh, Seb put the tools away. It had been like that all week, Kurt running hot and cold. Some days it felt like how they were before, cuddling and talking in bed. Teasing each other. Catching Kurt giving him warm looks that made Seb want to lean in to steal a kiss. Other times, he was distant, his thoughts miles away. If only there was something in the toolbox that could fix that too.

Sounds in the hallway had them both perking up, and Seb ran over to throw the door wide open. _"Maman! Bienvenue!"_ He drew the woman into a tight hug that had her chuckling.

"Sebastian, _mon cherie."_ Her eyes danced as she took him in, and then shifted over to Kurt. Setting down her purse and suitcase, she enveloped him in an enthusiastic embrace. "You are still here! You didn't get sick of living with my son for a week?"

Kurt shrugged a shoulder. "I muddled through. Come, sit down and tell us about your trip. I'll get us some wine."

Over a few glasses of red, she regaled them with amusing stories, switching to French. "And what have you two been up to? Have you made it out of the bedroom much?"

Seb could feel his face heat a little at her teasing comment. Despite being in the City of Love, Seb hadn't pushed his luck by trying for more than some quick kisses. Kurt certainly hadn't tried to initiate sex either.

"Um...we went to museums, shopped a lot, relaxed. It will be nice to get out of Paris tomorrow to see some countryside," Seb fumbled to answer.

Kurt got up, collecting the empty glasses and wine bottle, and carrying them into the kitchen.

Anne-Valerie watched him go, turning back to look at Seb, concerned. "You two are still...?"

Seb could see Kurt rinsing the glasses before heading towards the bathroom. He leaned in closer. "Yes, it is still a little strained. Perhaps a couple days out of the city will help."

She nodded, but still seemed concerned.

This was a good time for a distraction. "So, we have a bit of a surprise for you. A certain gentleman will be here in an hour, and we have prepared a nice meal for you two."

"Sebastian!" Anne-Valerie seemed pleased, chuckling as she squeezed his hand. "What will you two be doing?"

"We have tickets to the Moulin Rouge show tonight, and then we'll head back to the hotel." There weren't as many performances in this less touristy time of the year, so they had bought them online a month ago. "So, go have a nice bath. Kurt and I will get everything ready out here."

He knew they would have time to see her again before they left France, so didn't feel too bad leaving her tonight.

By the time she came out of her bedroom in a pretty cashmere sweater and trim trousers, Seb and Kurt had put the extra place setting away, lit candles around the flat and put on some soft music. The cassoulet baking in the oven smelled fantastic, and the bread, salad and wine were on the table.

They all had some wine while they waited, Kurt seeming to get along well with Anne-Valerie, now that his nerves from meeting her were gone.

Gaétan arrived, bearing flowers even, and Seb could tell his mother was pleased.

"Well, we will leave you to your supper. Thanks again for letting us use your flat for the week," Seb said, leaning down to hug his mother and kiss her cheek.

She gave him a tight hug in return. "Thank you, Sebastian."

He could tell she was really touched, and knew she would take the surprise dinner as his blessing to be with Gaétan. She had been a good wife to his father, and deserved to be in a happy relationship again.

As they rode back to the hotel, Kurt seemed to sense that Seb needed some quiet time, and just held his hand. 

...

As a bunch of clowns came on to the stage, Seb waved down their server and ordered another round of drinks.

The show was done at a high level, choreographed and costumed perfectly. But feathers, rhinestones and bare breasts weren't really his thing.

Kurt was riveted though, totally involved in the spectacle onstage. During the last year together, they had curled up to watch Moulin Rouge on Kurt's sofa, singing along to the songs. Kurt had confessed how much he loved the movie, and that Blaine had as well. It had been 'their' thing.

Perhaps that was why he was feeling rather detached while watching the live show. He set his drink back on their white tablecloth, the small lamp dimmed to a soft red glow. The light illuminated Kurt's face well, and Seb watched his boyfriend's reactions more than the show.

Four more days, and they would be flying home. It had felt like they had so much time, but now they were running out. Seb knew Kurt was still warring with himself, he'd had plenty of time to think it over during the holiday. Seb doubted things would be any better once they got home and went back to work. It was time Kurt decided if he was going to accept Sebastian's past and allow them to move forward. They couldn't continue on like this.

Seeing the way his mother lit up when she saw Gaétan, and the careful way he gathered in his arms for a long heartfelt hug, Seb had been truly touched. He had looked towards Kurt, remembering how they had been from that first weekend when the time loops ended. Could they ever get back to that completely crazy in love state?

The show was in its final big number, with the dancers in blue, white and red ruffled dresses and doing amazingly athletic versions of the traditional Can-Can dance. There were flips, splits and fireworks, working the crowd into a cheering, applauding frenzy by the time they did their final pose, beaming out at the audience. Kurt was on his feet, clapping hard, and sending a happy grin towards Seb.

Seb's heart clenched in his chest, loving seeing Kurt happy and having fun. If things didn't work out between them, how could he go on with never seeing Kurt smile at him again?

The evening was mild for this time of year, and they walked along the streets crowded with the departing guests. Seb chuckled as the neon signs and window displays caught his eye, and nudged Kurt's shoulder. "Sexodrome?"

Kurt gave him a puzzled glance, but followed Seb's gaze to a neon sign. "Peep show and sex shop. Classy," he chuckled, his eyes catching on the other businesses on the street. "This must be the red light district."

They kept walking, quietly pointing out the more graphic signs and window displays. Kurt was quite impressed by colorful model Eiffel towers with the top half morphed into dildos. "I'm tempted to get one as a souvenir," he chuckled, his eyes flicking between the blue and red ones.

"Or perhaps a gift for someone?" Seb joked, trying to picture which of their friends would like the gag gift.

The joking was putting Seb into a better mood, along with seeing all the young Parisians out enjoying their Friday night, dressed in club gear. As they walked southeast, they got into the historic _Le Marais_ district, with its narrow, winding streets. Bars and nightclubs became more frequent, often with a more obvious gay vibe.

Reaching a nightclub with purple lights illuminating the brick exterior, Seb held open the door for Kurt, and savored the loud thump of the music that washed over them. The drinks he had consumed at the cabaret were hitting him now, and he was eager to have a few more and just let loose.

Kurt seemed to be in a similar mindset, shrugging off his coat to reveal his tight black jeans and t-shirt. Seb did the same, and went to the bar to get the first round. By the time he returned, there were two young guys chatting Kurt up. One was older, with flecks of grey in his hair but with a muscular body. The other was barely twenty, with huge dark eyes. Kurt seemed to be enjoying flirting in French with the attentive men, so Seb just passed him a drink and watched the crowd as he sipped his.

It was a lively mix, ranging in age from 18 to late 30s, the servers and many other men shirtless, showing off toned chests. A DJ was pumping out techno music, a solid beat making the crowd surge in time. Many were dancing, a sweaty, close press of men grinding together.

The place was infamous for the shower shows by the bar, neon lights surrounding the glass wall. As Seb watched, a young guy entered the shower and turned the water on. Many patrons turned to watch as his white t-shirt got soaked and clung to his toned chest. His snug red briefs were soon wet too, and he turned to give everyone a good view of his gorgeous ass.

Seb glanced over at Kurt, and smirked, but couldn't resist looking back. It was deliciously naughty, watching with all the other men as the go-go boy slowly peeled off his shirt, getting appreciative cheers from everyone. Water poured down his bared chest, and his briefs had an impressive bulge. The man got some soap and leisurely washed, bending over often to reach everywhere.

A man had moved closer to Seb as he watched the performance, in his early twenties with buzzed blond hair and a good body. Seb had been to enough bars in his day to tell the guy was interested, and seeing how Kurt was still chatting with the other guys, didn't see any harm in it.

Smirking to himself, he looked back to the shower show, a little shocked that the man's hand was underneath his briefs, and obviously stroking a rather large erection. Seb shifted, feeling a pang of pure lust. It had been a year since he'd been with a stranger, and there was something so primal, so raw, about just getting together with someone for an hour or two of pure sex. Hardly even saying a word, just going for it.

"Want to?" the guy near him leaned in to ask, waving towards the crowded dance floor.

 _Just a dance. No big deal._ Seb shrugged, and then nodded. Kurt wouldn't miss him, apparently.

The younger guy led the way through the crowd and turned to Seb once they found a spot. It was crowded, with surging bodies on all sides, but Seb got into it, becoming one with the thump of the music and the men brushing against him. It was fun, and he was just drunk enough to relax and forget everything.

A couple songs in, he was feeling pretty hot, and seeing all the bare chested men in the crowd, pulled his own shirt off. His dance partner was very appreciative, his eyes hungrily tracing over his six pack as he tore his own shirt off. Seb had to watch him after that, dancing with enough distance to avoid the guy grinding on him. He didn't want things to go that far.

At the end of the song, he thanked the guy and quickly turned to slip away in the crowd. He ducked into the bathroom, using the facilities and not surprised by guys getting busy in the corners. Not unusual in most gay clubs.

He grabbed more drinks at the bar, and went back to Kurt. His bare chest got a raised eyebrow, but Kurt accepted the drink. The older guy was still around, looking irked at Seb for giving him a drink. Chuckling, Seb looked back at the shower.

The go-go boy was completely naked, save for water and bubbles. He was washing very thoroughly, running a soapy hand over his bare cock often, and seeming to enjoy it almost as much as his audience liked watching him.

The server came by and gave him martini, nodding towards the man who had bought it for him. Seb accepted it, and raised it to the man in thanks before taking a sip.

The man took that as encouragement, looking Seb over from his sweaty, dance-mussed hair, his big green eyes and smirking smile, and down over his toned chest, with obvious approval. Seb looked as well, liking his hazel eyes with smudgy man-liner, and his straight brown hair, worn a bit on the longer side.

There was mutual attraction, but Seb just shook his head. "Sorry, but I'm here with my boyfriend." He spoke in French, raising his voice and leaning closer to be heard over the music.

"What?" the man asked in French.

Sighing, Seb leaned closer until his mouth was almost on the guy's ear. "Sorry, but I'm attached."

His admirer just gave a graceful gallic shrug, and didn't seem too put out. He looked up at the shower show, the performer now turning off the taps and wrapping a towel around his waist. Seb wondered if the performer had reached orgasm, or would that have been taking it too far?

His new friend leaned in, and Seb turned to tilt his ear towards him, to have the best chance to hear him. But before the guy said a word, Kurt was at Seb's other side, looking pissed off.

His flashing blue-green eyes were scanning over Seb's bare chest, his sweaty hair, and the other guy still standing very close. Seb was still holding the half-empty martini glass, a drink he would have never ordered for himself.

"Kurt, it's not-" Seb started, but Kurt had already spun on his heel and pushed his way through the crowd.

"Fuck," Seb muttered, gulping down his drink and putting his glass down. He yanked his shirt back on, smoothing down his hair as he gave his new friend a sheepish grin. _"Au revoir. Merci."_

Running to get his jacket from the coat check, it was a few minutes before he got outside. There was no sign of Kurt anywhere.

Sighing, Seb hailed a cab, feeling too drunk to figure out his way home. It seemed ironic that Kurt was angry with Seb for talking with a guy when he'd been doing the same thing. He hadn't been touching or kissing them, just mild flirting.

Their hotel room was dark, and Seb turned on the lights, wondering where Kurt had gone. Was he angry enough to head to some other bar or late night restaurant to avoid being around Seb? Perhaps he had overreacted because he was angry at Seb for the time loops still, and this was a convenient way to vent his feelings.

Sighing, Seb stripped and took a long, hot shower. He drank a large bottle of water, not wanting to be hung over the next day. They had plans to go out to see the Palace of Versailles. Would Kurt be home in time to get enough sleep? Would he get over being mad by then?

**Kurt, I hope you'll come back to the hotel soon so we can talk. -S**

He sent the text, and huffed to himself as he crawled into bed. Kurt was generally a calm man, letting his head rule his actions. But they had had some big fights, and Kurt took a while to cool off. Seb seemed to get under his skin more than other people did. Eventually, they'd talk it out, and hopefully have some good make-up sex.

That thought had Seb shifting in the bed. Just being at the bar, all those horny men even more primed by the shower show...the sexual energy had Seb feeling unsatisfied now. Should he just take care of himself? It would get rid of the urge, but it was such a boring option. What would it have been like to grind against that guy on the dance floor? Or have the man at the bar do a body shot off his bare chest? They both would have been up for it.

He was drifting off, almost half-asleep, when there was a sharp knock on the door. It made him jump, his heart pounding, as he got his bearings. _Who the fuck would be knocking at his door in the middle of the night._ Kurt had his own keycard.

Getting out of bed, he made sure the towel was still wrapped around his waist from his shower, and staggered over to the door. He was still a bit drunk. "What?" he said, as he flung the door open.

A man was leaning against the doorjamb, giving Seb a sultry look through his long eyelashes. He was wearing a familiar long, dark coat, that he pushed open to show he wasn't wearing much underneath. Black boots up to his knees, and shiny black shorts that left a lot of pale skin on display. His face was beautiful, with blue-green expressive eyes surrounded by dark silver make-up painted on like an eye mask.

"You requested me, _monsieur."_ Kurt said with a heavy French accent, slinking confidently into the hotel room and turning on the bedside lamp.

Seb just stared at him in confusion, closing the door.

Kurt stripped off his coat, throwing it over a chair, and was rummaging around in a small black duffel bag Seb had never seen before. He set a bottle of lube and some condoms on to the nightstand, and put the bag on the floor, turning towards Seb.

"Requested you?" Seb dumbly repeated, looking from Kurt to the condoms. He was a bit too drunk, sleepy and surprised to figure this out.

Kurt huffed, sauntering closer. He stopped right in front of Seb, staring at him. "Did you forget going on to a website for, how do you say, um, escorts? You paid for my services for the night." His accent and even his mannerisms were quite convincing.

Seb could only nod, finally understanding. Kurt was here, and wanting to roleplay. He wasn't angry, and Seb was likely going to get sex out of this. "You look even better in person. Hotter."

"Aren't you a naughty boy. I bet you have a boyfriend back home, but are just craving to be with a stranger, someone new," Kurt said, his eyes going down to Seb's mouth, and down his chest, a slight rasp to his voice that made arousal zing through Seb's body.

Kurt chuckled, noticing the way Seb's towel was tenting out. He sunk down to his knees. 'Mmmmm...let's see what you have for me under here." He drew the towel away, flinging it towards the bed, and looking at Seb like it was the first time.

He was only half-hard, but Kurt took him in his mouth enthusiastically, humming, and he was fully hard right away. It was hot looking down at Kurt dressed in his skimpy costume, going along with the fantasy that he was a rent boy. "Fuck, you are good at that."

A few blissful minutes later, Kurt was moving away, leading Seb by his erection to the bed. He spread out the towel over the sheets. "Get up on all fours," he said firmly, shimmying out of the tight shorts but leaving the boots on.

Kurt definitely had plans, and Seb went along with it, loving not knowing what was going to happen next. He climbed into the position, and saw Kurt take the lube from the nightstand. His boyfriend was very good at opening him up, and Seb groaned as his long fingers brushed over his prostate.

Leaning down, Kurt picked up the duffle bag again, rummaging around inside it some more. He pulled out a black blindfold, showing Seb. "Can I put this on you?"

"Yes," Seb agreed, knowing it would make things even more intense. The blindfold was snug, and he couldn't see anything at all.

Kurt was digging in the bag again. "It is exciting being with a stranger, yes? Not knowing what to expect. Will they be a good lover? Will they have a big cock?" His accent was still in place, as he reached between Seb's legs to stroke lube over his erection, making Seb moan.

Holding him with one hand, Seb felt Kurt shifting on the bed to kneel behind him, and he groaned in anticipation. He loved being fucked by Kurt, and his earlier arousal was making him even more eager than normal.

But then it felt different. Kurt was pushing slowly inside him, both of them well prepped, but he felt thicker. Seb's breath caught, and Kurt stopped, running a calming hand down his back, stopping on his ass. _"Ça va?"_ (It's OK?)

Kurt was still in character, and doing something different...but Seb trusted him. He was excited for more. "Yes," he gasped.

The motion continued, easing in slowly, and with Kurt somehow thicker than he normally was. It was more of a stretch, and Seb moaned, dropping his head down to the pillow. Kurt was normally bigger than average, but this was getting to the limits of what Seb could handle.

Kurt seemed to understand, keeping still to let Seb adjust, and reaching down to stroke his cock. His erection had softened a little, but Kurt's slick, talented fingers had him panting. _"Ça va?"_

"Yes, fuck me..." Seb growled, almost saying 'Kurt' but not wanting to spoil the fantasy for either of them.

The rent boy moved faster, building quicker to a fast tempo than Kurt would have, making Seb even more aroused. Feeling like he was getting used, fucked hard, taking that big cock. Getting pounded.

He came embarrassingly fast, shuddering as he slumped down on the bed, breathing hard. "Sorry, that must have been too quick for you. You can continue," Seb offered, although the thought of having a cock rubbing over his sensitive prostate seemed like it would be too much right now.

Kurt chuckled lightly, and slowly pulled out. "I am here for your pleasure. I will find my own soon enough."

Seb felt relieved, and a bit sore. Well fucked. "Oh?" he asked, feeling sleepy.

" _Oui_. When you fuck me," Kurt said, his accent still in place.

Chuckling, Seb rolled on to his back. "I'm sorry, but I think you just did me in for the night. Can I get you off some other way?"

Kurt shifted to lie between his legs. "Give me a few minutes," he whispered, taking Seb into his mouth.

Seb gasped, his hand coming down to Kurt's head, almost wanting to pull him away from his too sensitive cock. But Kurt was softly sucking and licking, nothing too overwhelming.

Relaxing back on to the bed, he let his fingers play through Kurt's soft hair. It felt nice, even though he wasn't aroused.

Then Kurt's fingers pushed slowly into him, and he shuddered at the sensation. _Too much, too much..._ He was about to pull away when Kurt swirled the pads of his fingers over his prostate, while giving a slightly harder suck on his cock. The dual sensations sent a spark of pure desire through him, and he let out a moan.

He was at Kurt's mercy then, his mouth and fingers teasing him, arousing him, and then easing off, only to build him up again. A little more each time. He lost track of time, his hands buried in Kurt's hair, his hips twitching in helpless response.

Finally, Kurt sat up, and Seb could hear a condom package opening. He almost told Kurt not to bother, since they didn't use them. But a second later, a snug condom was being rolled down his lubed cock. He had almost forgotten how it felt, even after all those years of using them religiously with all his hook-ups.

Kurt moved over him, straddling his hips, his boots cool against Seb's thighs. He lowered himself down, well-prepped but still taking him in slowly. It felt different with the condom, the sensations dulled a little, which might help him last a little longer.

Kurt started moving, and the condom was ribbed, the sensation making it again feel different for Seb. Kurt was moving fast, swirling his hips in small circles, and moaning. It made Seb realize that Kurt was probably even more eager to cum, since he had been waiting longer, and Seb didn't want to get left behind.

Arching his hips off the bed, he met Kurt's thrusts, both of them speeding up. They rarely fucked like this, full out. Groaning and sweaty. Messy, greedy, glorious sex.

It didn't last long, despite the condom, and they collapsed in a heap on the bed.

Kurt rolled off, and removed the condom. He used the towel to clean Seb up, and then went off to the washroom.

Seb could hear the water running, and he pulled the blindfold off. It had been fantastic sex, but also so strange. Strange not saying each other's names, not kissing, not cuddling. Strange not being able to see Kurt the whole time.

It made him feel somewhat lonely.

Scoffing at himself, he shut off the bedside light, feeling more comfortable in the darkness. Would Kurt want to talk when he came back out? He was going to stay, wasn't he? This wasn't some kind of send off?

Kurt opened the washroom door, the light already off, and crawled into the bed without touching Seb.

What had just happened? It didn't feel like make-up sex. But it didn't feel like Kurt was angry anymore either. Did he know what was happening any better than Seb did?

...

-A/N: Finally, I'm back writing the last few chapters of this fic!!! It's been often on my mind, as I don't like leaving work unfinished. Thanks for being so patient with me. I have drafts done for the final two chapters and will be posting them before Groundhog Day is over (Feb 2nd).

-Moulin Rouge: This cabaret was built the same year as the Eiffel Tower (1889) during the _Belle Époque._ The theatre at the bottom of the Montmartre district was the perfect place for the very rich to come and 'slum it' in the bohemian, artsy area, entertained by Can-Can dancers in titillating costumes. It burned down in a 1915 fire, but was rebuilt, iconic windmill and all. Official link [here.](http://www.moulinrouge.fr/?lang=en) 2 minute video showing the exterior, interior and snippets of the show [here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy57A9GYYds)

-Red Light District: Moulin Rouge is in Pigalle area, which has some 'red light' businesses on the same street. 5 min video of a couple walking through the area [here.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2D_Zx8aYxhQ)

-Raidd Bar: "The infamous 'shower bar', Raidd welcomes a trendy mix of younger locals, innocent study abroad students, and other voyeuristic internationals to the Marais who don’t just come for the pricey drinks. Instead, they crowd around to ogle the scantily-clad go-go boys who make you feel dirty while they get clean, stripping down and lathering up in the glass shower by the bar." See full Timeout review [here.](https://www.timeout.com/paris/en/bars-pubs/raidd-bar) 3 minute silent video of inside the bar with a few shots of the shower boys is [here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TB71YIPtro8&app=desktop)

-Cock Sheath: Kurt uses a cock sheath made out of a blend of thermoplastic rubber and silicone with Seb. They are also called 'penis sleeves, sheaths, cock enhancers or extenders'. It can add up to an extra inch in girth. ( _Oooo la la!_ ) 5 minute video is [here.](https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/the-hottest-trend-in-male-sex-toys-is-pretty-much-a-dildo-you-wear-over-your-penis)


	8. February 12th

Seb watched as the countryside rushed by smoothly, at 300 km/hour, still not really able to believe they were going that fast. But they had taken a regular train yesterday, and this was going to take three hours instead of four to get back to Paris. 

He glanced over at Kurt, reading his Kindle, and wondered how many books he had finished during this holiday. It had definitely been a long vacation, a test for any couple to be together so much, and even worse for them with so much still hanging over their heads.

It had been a relief to get out of Paris for the weekend. Kurt had woken Seb up early on Saturday, acting friendly and normal despite what had happened the night before. Seb went along with it, hopping into the shower and spending the full day together exploring the Palace of Versailles. They had both been amazed at the luxurious buildings and gardens.

They stayed the night in the town of Versailles, tired after a long day of walking, going to bed not long after a big, hearty meal.

Sunday morning, they had taken a regular train to the spa town of Vichy. It took about four fours to get there, but they enjoyed seeing the French countryside and giving their feet a rest. They spent the afternoon soaking in the hot springs water, then spoiling themselves with mud wraps, massages and facials.

It had been friendly and ... pleasant. Very nice. Totally not ‘them’.

Had everything totally died between them? Seb could only think back on their past year together and hope these last two weeks were just an unusual adjustment period. Maybe they could move on, and get to a different phase. But what if they couldn’t? 

Seb couldn’t wait any longer. He was going to put it all on the line tonight. Ask Kurt if he wanted to stay together or end things. Go back to the States as a couple, or a couple of singles.

Of course, he was going to weigh things in his favor as much as possible. They were in the City of Love and he was going to give Kurt the most romantic night possible before putting his heart and future out there.

He felt nervous, a little excited and a lot scared. But the past was the past, and they had to accept it and move on.

...

“Come on, come on...” Seb urged, wrapping a scarf around his neck. He had Kurt’s small duffle bag, and pushed a pair of gloves on top before zipping it shut.

“Almost ready,” Kurt called out from the washroom. He had seemed amused with Seb’s increasing tension as the day had gone on, but had gone along with his request to get dressed up for dinner. “I don’t see why we have to leave so early though.”

“Top secret, my dear,” Seb smirked, his face freezing as Kurt finally came out of the washroom. He was wearing a suit he had bought at the beginning of the trip, and it had been sent to their hotel today with all the alterations completed. It had looked good before, but now it lovingly followed the lines of Kurt’s body, making his shoulders look wider, his waist narrower, and his legs miles long. His hair was perfection, as always, swept up and off his face.

Seb just held out Kurt’s coat for him to slip on. “Wow, Kurt. Just Wow.”

The compliment got a flirty grin in return, a dimple appearing on his cheek. “So eloquent,” he chuckled, as he wrapped a paisley scarf around his neck. “You’ll do,” Kurt said, his glance flicking up and down over Seb.

“Gee, thanks,” Seb said, happy to have Kurt in a good mood for their night. 

He had taken extra care with his own appearance, a suit with a subtle pinstripe, and fitted enough to have Kurt’s eye lingering as they took the elevator to the lobby.

Soon, they were in a taxi, and Seb slipped the cabbie the address on a piece of paper to keep it secret. When they arrived at a street with several businesses, Seb hopped out. “Back in a couple minutes.”

He dashed off, weaving through pedestrians and going into a specialty store. Five minutes later, he came out with a plain paper shopping bag, and slipped back into the taxi. He passed the cabbie another piece of paper with the next destination.

“This is quite cloak and dagger,” Kurt drawled, amused. He leaned forward, trying to peek into the bag. “Do I smell chocolate? Are you going to spoil my dinner?”

“Hush,” Seb said softly, his leg jiggling as they got closer to their stop. He paid the driver with a handsome tip, and made sure he had both bags as he climbed out. 

Kurt was standing beside him, gazing up at two massive limestone buildings. They were like two wings, arching away from them. “You are taking me to an architecture museum?”

Spying the sign Kurt must have read on one of the buildings, he just grinned. “Close your eyes,” he whispered, reaching into the duffle bag to pull out the blindfold. 

“Kinky! Right out here in the open?” Kurt teased, but closed his eyes and jutted out his chin.

Setting down the bags, he got the blindfold firmly over Kurt’s eyes, and then picked up the bags again with one hand. His other hand wrapped around Kurt’s waist, guiding him forward.

There were a few people to move around, and a few steps to navigate, but they finally got to a good spot. Being a Monday night and in February, it wasn’t as crowded as it got in the summer.

Seb unzipped the duffle bag and pulled out a blanket. He spread it over a low stone wall. Next, he opened the shopping bag, pulled out two paper cups and carefully filled them from a thermos in the shopping bag. 

Kurt’s nose twitched appreciatively. “I knew I smelled chocolate!” 

“So clever,” Seb purred, taking Kurt’s hand and wrapped it carefully around the hot cup. “Take a sip of this.”

Trustingly, Kurt raised the cup and inhaled deeply. “Mmmmmmmmm...” He took a sip, and hummed even deeper. “This is so good. The best hot chocolate I ever had.”

That contented noise combined with Kurt wearing the blindfold brought up memories of a hot night or two they had had in the past year. Seb shifted, his pants feeling a little tighter suddenly. “It’s from Angelina’s. The special recipe was said to be the favourite of CoCo Chanel and Audrey Hepburn.”

He sipped his own hot chocolate, wrapping his hands around the warm cup. It was almost 6 pm, and it was cooling off as the sun set. 

“Is this it? Drinking delicious hot chocolate blindfolded?” Kurt quipped with smirk. 

Reaching up to his head, Seb undid the blindfold and let it fall away. Kurt’s gasp made it all worth it.

Before them was one of the best views of the Eiffel Tower in the city. The sun was setting, barely a pale yellow glow at the distant horizon, gilding the bottoms of wipsy clouds. The rest of the sky ranging from a medium blue to navy overhead. The iron tower was a dark silhouette, as were the buildings around it’s base. Street lights were coming on, tiny golden spots in the gathering darkness. 

Seb reached over, taking Kurt’s hand in his as they watched the sun go below the horizon, leaving a diffuse glow that faded into a breathtaking twilight. And then golden lights started to come on the tower, section by section, ending with the top. When the structure was fully illuminated, small white lights began to pulse amongst the steady golden glow, making the tower appear to be twinkling. 

Kurt looked towards Seb, catching his eye, laughing. “Does this happen every night?” 

“The sparkling lights are on for five minutes every hour,” Seb took a sip of his hot chocolate, feeling pleased at how enchanted Kurt seemed. 

“We’ve been here almost two weeks! How did I not notice this before then?” 

Seb shrugged. “I, um, kept an eye on the time whenever we were close to the tower. I just made sure you were distracted for a few minutes.” He had wanted to make this night special. 

Kurt gave his hand a squeeze before letting go. “I want to catch a bit of this on my phone. I doubt the video will do it justice, but it will remind me of this.”

Taking his half-done hot chocolate, Seb watched as Kurt pulled out his phone and took a 30 second video of the glittering lights. Then he turned the view around to show them, and tilted his head to rest on Seb’s shoulder with a big grin. “Smile.”

Seb tilted his head towards Kurt’s, and gave a wide, happy grin. The first stop of the night seemed to have gone well.

Putting his phone away, Kurt took his hot chocolate back, and surprised Seb by holding his hand again. Perhaps his hand was cold, and this was just a way to keep it warm. But there was no way Seb was going to offer him the gloves he had packed. 

...

“I can’t eat another bite,” Kurt said as he looked at the card with the dessert choices. 

Seb gave him a fond look, and shrugged. “I think I’ll try the carmelized pineapple with sorbet. I’m surprised you aren’t going for the chocolate in three ways.”

Kurt bit his lower lip, seeming a bit conflicted. “That does sound good.”

“We probably won’t be coming back here next time. It’s lovely, but there are so many other great restaurants to try.” Seb said, and then took a hasty sip of water. Would there be a next time? Would they ever come back to Paris again together? 

But Kurt didn’t seem phased by the comment. “Your mother will be happy that you plan on visiting more often.” 

Their server came, and Seb was glad that Kurt ordered the chocolate dessert. It was an elegant restaurant, so he doubted the portions would be that large. There were incredible views of the city in all directions, with the Eiffel Tower in the distance, but they didn’t hold his attention in comparison to Kurt as he savoured some great dessert. 

When they climbed into a cab afterwards, Seb handed the driver the final piece of paper with their last stop. They headed north, crossing the Seine at the lovely Alexandre III bridge, and then the Champs-Elysees with a breathtaking view of the illuminated Arc de Triomphe to their left. Kurt was watching the city through the windows, and seemed rather quiet.

They stopped before a red brick church, with a small square across the street. Kurt followed Seb out of the taxi, and looked around, puzzled. “Isn’t it a little late to go to church?” 

Daringly, Seb grabbed Kurt’s hand and tugged him to into the square that was mostly empty at this time of night. In the summer, it would probably be full of people enjoying warm evening air in the outdoor cafes, and sitting under the shade of the trees. But now, the trees were bare of leaves and the cobblestones wet from an earlier rain. It was a bit chilly. 

Near the entrance to the metro station, there was a colourful carousel, glassed in on all sides. Seb stopped beside it, and peered through the glass. “I can’t believe it’s not open!”

Kurt chuckled, looking over the carousel with one eyebrow raised. “We came across the city to ride on this?” There were many carousels all around Paris, many with classic gold trim and paintings of belle époque amusements. This one, however, was full of garishly bright plastic horses, and other items like a boat, a spaceship and a helicopter. “Yeah, it looks quite, um, fantastic.”

Seb heard his sarcasm, and jabbed his finger at the glass. “Look, I was thinking of riding together in that.”

Leaning closer to the glass, Kurt peered in and saw some large fuchsia object. “Is that a carriage?” He giggled at the thought of both of them trying to squeeze inside, or even on the tiny driver’s bench. It was kid-sized, and Sebastian was all legs. “Perhaps it’s not so bad that it’s closed.”

Sighing, Seb grabbed his hand and tugged him along. “We might as well walk back to the hotel. It isn’t far from here.” 

“Well, the rest of the evening was fantastic, Seb. I loved watching the sunset and that lovely restaurant.” Kurt said, seeing that the taller man seemed a bit disgruntled at this change in plans. 

Seb nodded in acknowledgment, and swung an iron gate open for Kurt to pass through. It led into a garden area with many pathways and benches here and there. Kurt was watching Seb more than where they were going, so was surprised when Seb stopped walking, and gave Kurt a funny look.

Kurt looked at him, and then around. They were standing near the side of a building, and it was covered with indigo blue tiles with white writing on them. Curious, he stepped closer. _“Assavakkit. Erehmeh, Szeretlek…”_ he said aloud softly as he read. The words looked hand written, but in many different styles. Some were in characters he couldn’t read, like Hebrew. Finally, his eyes saw words he knew. _Je t’aime._

He turned to Seb, who was giving him a genuine smile, and pulled Kurt over to a bench to sit down. “The wall says that in 250 languages,” he took Kurt’s hand, brushing his thumb over the back of it before. “It’s something I’ve told you before, but I don’t think I’ve told you since the start of this trip. Since the day I told you the truth about the day we met.”

He looked so vulnerable and sad, blinking a bit faster, that Kurt felt bad. “I know. Things have been a little strange since then, for both of us.” 

But Seb pushed on. “I love you, Kurt. If I knew 250 languages, I tell you that in every single one of them. I’ve never said it to anyone else, and it scares the hell out of me, but I know deep in my heart that it’s true. But what I don’t know is if you still love me. Has learning about the time loops changed the way you feel about me?” 

Kurt took a deep breath, looking back at the blue wall with all those words. What was love, true love? The exciting early days of infatuation, lust and curiosity about the other person faded into being more comfortable with each other, growing into deeper feelings. Before this trip, he had no doubts about Sebastian Smythe. Now, something was still holding him back from feeling the way he did before.

“Honestly, yes, my feelings have changed. I still care deeply for you, and I’m touched by all the effort you put into tonight, making it so special and romantic. This whole trip. You have been on your best behaviour and I’ve been a moody asshole,” Kurt found himself saying, and then could have kicked himself for the way the light in Seb’s eyes dulled. 

Seb looked away, towards his feet. “My big hope for this trip is that we could talk openly about the past, and get through it. Be a stronger couple for it. I was actually even hoping that you would agree to move in together when we got back to Colorado.” 

They were still holding hands, and Kurt was the one to squeeze Seb’s. “That’s a big step. I’ve only ever lived with Blaine before, and it was a big mess. It was in New York and we were barely out of high school.” 

“Didn’t you live together in Boulder?” Seb remembered Kurt mentioning getting involved again with Blaine in their late twenties, and eventually moving to Boulder to be with him. He had just assumed they had lived together.

Kurt scoffed, pulling his hand away from Seb’s to put it into his pocket. “He was in the closet in Colorado, and would hardly even stay the night. I was pretty blind about things for a while.”

“Do you feel like you were blind with me too? Are your eyes open now and you don’t like what you see?” Seb asked, bringing things back to the present.

It was a hard question, and he needed a moment to think. Getting up, Kurt walked towards the wall, searching until he found ‘I love you’ in English, and he stared at it. Did he still love Seb? Should they move in together? Move things to the next step?

Eventually, he turned back and sat down beside Seb again, taking his hand. “In my mind, I understand it, and I don’t blame you for what you did or how you told me. But I’m still trying to sort out my feelings about it. I wish I could whole heartedly be back to how I felt before this trip, but I think it will take more time.”

Seb looked a little sad, and Kurt could only lean in to give him a soft kiss. “I’m still want to be with you, but I don’t think it’s good that we take a big step like moving in together with this hanging over our heads. Let’s continue as we are, and give it a few months. Think about it again in the summer, maybe.” 

Seb seemed lost in his own thoughts, and Kurt knew he was disappointed with the way their talk had gone. He tugged Seb’s hand, standing up, and walked back out of the park. Pulling out his phone, he used a map app to find the way back to the hotel. 

As they walked, not talking, Kurt realized he hadn’t said ‘I love you’ to Sebastian tonight. When had he said it last? It took a few minutes, and he thought it might have been the first night in Paris. That was a long, long time ago.

…

-A/N: Just one chapter left! I’ll post it next Saturday, Feb 2nd (Groundhog Day). Thanks for sticking with this story.

-High Speed Train: The TGV ( _Train à Grande Vitesse_ ) is France's intercity high-speed rail service. Since their first run in 1981, these electrically powered trains have never had a fatal accident, despite running 320 km/hr (200 mph) typically. In 2007, a test run set the world record for a wheeled train at 574.8 km/h (357.2 mph). A 1 minute video with some glimpses of the train interior and fast moving countryside view is [here.](http://www.travelchicks.tv/tgv-train-paris-to-south-of-france/)

-Hot Chocolate: Angelina’s opened in 1903, with a lovely elegant decor and its infamous ‘African Hot Chocolate’. This decadent drink is composed of three carefully selected kinds of cocoa from Niger, Ghana and Côte d'Ivoire, giving an exceptional taste and distinctive character. Website is [here.](http://www.angelina-paris.fr/en/content/6-la-maison-angelina)

-Eiffel Tower: ‘Constructed from 1887–1889 as the entrance to the 1889 World's Fair, it was initially criticised by some of France's leading artists and intellectuals for its design, but it has become a global cultural icon of France and one of the most recognisable structures in the world.The Eiffel Tower is the most-visited paid monument in the world; 6.91 million people ascended it in 2015.’ (Wikipedia). It is still the tallest structure in Paris, at 324 metres (1,063 ft) tall, equivalent to a 81 story building. There are 3 levels accessible to visitors, with restaurants on the bottom two, and an observation deck on the top. 

-Eiffel Tower Lights: Since 1985, 336 projectors equipped with high-pressure, yellow-orange sodium lamps illuminate the tower at sundown. To celebrate the millennium New Year, two beacons were added to the top, along with the sparkling lights. ‘The sparkling lights are superimposed over the golden lighting. Made up of 20,000 light bulbs (5,000 per side), they bring the monument to life for 5 minutes every hour on the hour once the Tower has been lit up until 1 am.’ A 20 second time lapse video of Eiffel Tower at sunset and the lights coming on is [here.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=R8IU6oS6dIc)

-Le Ciel de Paris: They dine at this beautiful restaurant, at the top of the Montparnasse Tower (210 m tall) with exceptional views of the city, including the Eiffel Tower in the distance. Link to their website is [here.](http://www.cieldeparis.com/en/)

-Montmartre Carousel: They go to see this carousel at _Place des Abbesses_. Link with pictures to see how awful it is [here](https://carouselparis.wordpress.com/2016/08/13/carousel-place-des-abbesses-montmatre/). Seb didn’t really want to ride it, he just used it as a way to get Kurt near the ‘I Love You’ wall.  
A 5 minute video of the square in February is [here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5-VjUr8NiM) It shows the carousel in action (3 min mark), the red brick church, the ‘I Love You’ wall and metro station entrance, as well as how the French dress at this time of year, with warm coats, hats and scarves, even though there is no snow anywhere. I don’t think those white kiosks are there all the time. 

-I Love You Wall: This is a public work of art was erected in 2000 in the Jehan Rictus garden square in Montmartre. 40 square meters of a wall is covered with 612 enameled tiles, with the phrase 'I love you' featured 311 times in 250 languages. ‘Artist Fédéric Baron first asked his brother, and later his foreign neighbours, to write words of love in their languages, then collected 'I love you' in this way in over 300 languages and dialects of the world. Claire Kito, a calligrapher, then assembled them in a work to be realised on enamel plates.’ (Wikipedia). I took some artistic license, as the garden closes around sunset (about 6 pm in February), but for this story, it’s open longer and nobody is around.


	9. Valentine's Day

The next day they both slept in and were slow to get moving. Kurt mentioned a couple things they had wanted to see before the end of the trip. Neither had much energy, but drifting around a couple small museums suited their mood. They didn’t even have to talk, both lost in their own thoughts as they toured the quiet exhibits.

Kurt sat in front of some vibrant medieval tapestries, admiring the delicate stitch work and intricate design. Each had an elegant lady flanked on her right by a lion, and on her left by a unicorn. Flowers and small animals filled up most of the remaining space, against a red background.

Seb sat down beside Kurt, gazing over the large pieces of art. “They are quite beautiful,” he said softly, one of the first things he had said for an hour.

Feeling grateful that Seb was acting normal, Kurt nodded and looked his way. “I am a little confused by the meaning of the sixth tapestry. Experts seem to agree that the others represent the five senses.”

Seb reviewed them a bit closer. “That one must be hearing, because she is playing an instrument. And that one taste because she is about to eat something.” 

“Yes, and she is showing the unicorn his reflection in a mirror, symbolizing sight.” Kurt waved towards a tapestry. “And smelling flowers in that one.”

Seb looked at the one with the lady touching the unicorn’s horn. “So, that one must be touch. Which one is the sixth?”

Kurt looked up at the tapestry he was sitting in front of. It was the largest, with the Lady standing in the centre with her maid beside her, holding an open chest. The lion and unicorn were on each side of her, like in the other tapestries, but each holding open a flap of a blue tent the Lady was standing in. The top of the tent had words stitched in gold.

 _”À Mon Seul Désir,”_ Seb read out, and seemed to mull it over. “It just means ‘My Only Desire’, right?”

“That’s what I’m confused about, and the experts all vary on the interpretation. The words can mean ‘according to my desire alone’, ‘by my will alone’, ‘love desires only beauty of the soul’, and ‘to calm passion’.“ Kurt was reading the information off the screen of his phone.

Seb nodded. “Hmmmmm. Plus, the tapestry is five hundred years old, so the meaning of the phrase could have changed.”

Kurt stood up to move closer, peering at the chest in the centre of the tapestry. “It looks like she is taking her necklace out of the box. Notice how she’s not wearing it, and she is in the other tapestries?”

“You think her jewelry is her soul desire? Is she really materialistic?” Seb’s eyebrows went up. “I don’t think that fits with her interacting so much with the animals and all the flowers. She’s like Snow White or Sleeping Beauty, very in tune with nature, living very simply.”

Kurt smirked. “Until princes came along and whisked them off to castles. They weren’t holding back, saying ‘But I’ll miss my forest friends!’”

Seb seemed amused, but kept looking at the tapestry, contemplating it. Kurt sat down beside him, enjoying his quiet company.

“I have a different idea. In the other tapestries, she is interacting with the animals, smelling flowers, eating, showing the unicorn a mirror. But she’s not showing them her jewelry box,” Seb said softly to Kurt.

An older French woman passing by nodded. “Yes, I have heard that the motto can be translated to ‘with my unique desire’. Maybe it means that humans are unique in that we value gold.”

“Sounds like my ex-wife,” an older American man joked, stepping up to the French woman and hugging her from behind.

She chuckled, turning her head to smile up at him fondly. “She might have gotten your gold, but I got the prize.”

Seb gave them a friendly grin and within a few minutes had their whole story. Rick had a greedy wife who took off with most of his money. He had already purchased tickets for a trip to Paris for them, and ended up taking the trip on his own. He had met Sabine during the vacation and fallen in love. They had settled in the US, but came back to Paris each year.

Kurt just shook his head at how easily Seb befriended them, his manner drawing them in. It was like this everywhere they went, often running into people he knew all over Denver and Boulder.

Before he knew it, they had all gone for lunch in a nearby bistro and Sabine had an art historian friend join them there to discuss the tapestries. He spoke in rapid French, and Sabine translated softly for Rick. Kurt found he did it for Seb occasionally as well, when more unusual words came up.

...

“Things are going well between you now?” Anne-Valerie asked Seb softly as they made coffee and got the dessert ready.

Seb glanced towards the table where Kurt and Gaétan were chatting, the candlelight making him look even more attractive. He had to push down a surge of feelings before he could speak. “I don’t think so. Yesterday, we had a romantic night out and I asked him if he still loved me, if he wanted to move in together.”

His mother took his hand, her dark eyes looking concerned. “He said no?”

Shaking his head, Seb found it hard to get the words out. “He said he'd consider it again in the summer, but he never said if he still loved me. He hasn’t said it to me for weeks. I’m afraid it is over between us, and he is waiting to get back to Colorado to tell me.”

Anne-Valerie took him into her arms, her hug tight and comforting. “Oh, my sweet boy,” she crooned softly in French, rocking him like she had when he was younger.

This final dinner with Anne-Valerie and Gaétan had been pleasant, the conversation flowing easily. Kurt had told the older couple about the unicorn tapestries, making them laugh as he described Seb befriending the other couple.

Kurt had dressed well like he always did, had been acting the part of a nice boyfriend, but Seb wondered what was really going on with him. Was Kurt planning what to do when they got back home? Would he act busy? Start spending less and less time with Seb, until the relationship died? Or would he simply say he tried, but he couldn’t deal with Seb’s time loops? It was far too easy to imagine the many different ways things could end.

Collecting himself, Seb pulled back from his mother's embrace and rubbed his hands over his eyes. “Well, I can’t force him to stay if he doesn’t love me anymore. I can only be thankful for the time we had together and wish him well.”

Anne-Valerie nodded. “You know you are always welcome here if you need some time away.”

Kissing her cheek, Seb thanked her softly. If nothing else, he was grateful for knowing Kurt because he had encouraged him to be close with his mother again.

...

Back at the hotel, they got ready for bed like they had for the past year, when they had stayed at each other’s places. Kurt always took a little longer with his skin care routine, and Seb listened to the familiar sounds, lying alone in the bed in the dark.

The bathroom light shut off, and Kurt came towards the bed, slipping off the hotel bathrobe and crawling under the covers. They both normally slept in their underwear.

The hotel room was very dark, with just a tiny amount of light from the street coming in. But even without much outside light, Seb was very aware of the man in his bed. Moving closer, Seb rolled on to his side to look down at Kurt. In the dim light he could make out his large eyes, his pale skin, his full lips. Unable to resist, he leaned in to give him a soft kiss. Would this be the last time they ever kissed?

Seb had become more and more certain Kurt would end things as the day wore on, keeping up a cheerful front, but worrying the whole time. He had watched Kurt whenever he hadn’t been aware, just taking whatever he could get.

Now, all the emotions he had been holding back rose up, and his kiss intensified. Just one last night with Kurt, one night for his memories.

Kurt seemed a little surprised, but he quickly met Seb’s kisses with passionate ones of his own. Seb was soon touching and kissing Kurt all over, just needing to store up how his skin tasted, how smooth and sensitive he was. How beautifully responsive.

He went down on Kurt, glorifying in the way he filled his mouth so well. Loved the way Kurt sunk his fingers into his hair, groaning and arching his hips, so abandoned in his pleasure. Loved working lubed fingers inside him as he sucked and licked, rubbing his prostate just to hear Kurt moan out his name. Maybe it was over between them, but Kurt would not forget Seb’s touch anytime soon.

He used every skill he had, teasing Kurt, drawing it out, until he finally came hard. He held Kurt in his arms as he caught his breath, before rolling him on to his back.

Seb held Kurt’s gaze as he pushed slowly inside, savoring the tight heat of his body. After a year together, he knew how Kurt liked it. Pushing all the way in, letting Kurt adjust, before starting to move. He could feel Kurt getting aroused again, and the way his hips rose up to meet his. Again, he teased Kurt a little, building him up, going fast, but then slowing right down.

Finally, Kurt rolled them over with a frustrated groan. He looked magnificent on top of Seb, moving fast with such fluid grace, seeking his own pleasure. His hair was messy now, his skin damp with sweat, his face flushed with arousal. Panting and moaning, completely in the moment.

Seb could only cup his hips with his hands, arching up into him, savouring every second with the only man he had ever loved. “Sweetheart, yes... so good... beautiful...,” he gasped, getting so close.

Kurt knew him just as well, grinding in sweet circles as he stroked his own cock, head thrown back. It sent Seb over the edge, and Kurt gasped, watching as he shook beneath him. Seconds later, Kurt was joining him, collapsing on to Seb’s chest.

When he had caught his breath, Seb slipped to the washroom and came back with a damp washcloth for Kurt. Once cleaned up, they cuddled together, with Seb giving him some soft kisses as Kurt fell asleep.

Compared to the sex on Friday after going to the gay bar, this was much more gentle and loving. Both times satisfying in their own ways. Seb loved that they could have wild, unrestrained sex one night, and sweet, gentle sex like this other nights. It wasn’t the type of sex you had with casual hook-ups.

Seb held his man long into the night, his hands lightly stroking his back, listening to his deep, even breathing. One last day in Paris and they would be flying home, to their uncertain future.

...

Seb woke up to the hotel door closing, and sat up, feeling sleepy since he had been awake long into the night. “What’s going on?”

He fumbled for his phone, automatically checking the date. February 14th. Valentine’s Day. Seb had deliberately done his big romantic date with Kurt on February 12th to avoid the crowds. Even yesterday, they had noticed more tourists in town for the big day. On the weekend, they had agreed to just go to a quiet bistro to celebrate. Just a low key night for them.

Kurt came into the bedroom, carrying a tray. “Good morning. Breakfast in bed,” he smiled, setting the tray over Seb’s lap.

Seb blinked at the tray in surprise, seeing that it was his favorite, Eggs Benedict.

Kurt came back with his own tray, sitting propped up against the headboard and digging in to a warm chocolate croissant with a moan.

Following his lead, Seb enjoyed the meal and then savored his coffee when Kurt went to shower. Kurt seemed to be quicker than normal, popping out in his hotel robe to urge Seb on.

It was strange, having Kurt up first and seeming to rush Seb for once. “What’s going on?” he repeated with a yawn, as he made his way into the bathroom.

Kurt just shrugged a shoulder as he shaved, but Seb could see a mischievous glint in his eye. It made him even more curious, and he debated over the possibilities as the hot water revived him.

When he had showered, shaved, and done his hair, he found that Kurt had set out clothes and shoes for him to wear. Cluing in that Kurt had some sort of plan, he played along, pulling on the white dress shirt and jeans. He left the shirt untucked, with the top few buttons undone. Kurt was already dressed, looking handsome in black pants with a grey scarf looped around his neck, casually elegant.

“What’s going on?” Seb asked softly with a grin as they rode down the elevator, but Kurt simply gave him a playful wink, taking his hand to tug him outside when they got to the lobby.

Kurt flagged down a taxi and rattled off an address in his perfect French, and Seb could only climb in, wondering where they were going. Kurt was in a better mood than Seb had seen him in for ages, so he didn’t want to ask too many questions and spoil it.

They walked into a quiet cafe, since most Parisians were already at work, and found a table at the back. Kurt had a quiet air about him, so Seb followed his lead. When a server came by, Kurt said they needed a few minutes.

Was this it? Was Kurt going to tell him it was over? Why had he seemed cheerful earlier and ordered them breakfast in bed, if that was the case? Seb felt nervous.

Kurt sighed, looking up at Sebastian. “Last night, I couldn’t sleep again. All day I was thinking about the lovely things you said to me Monday night, and I was feeling more and more frustrated, mostly with myself. It was just the culmination of everything that has been circling around my head since your secret came out.”

He hung his head, staring at the table as he collected his thoughts. Seb felt bad for him, wanted to comfort him, but also just wanted Kurt to finally open up and talk. He held back, his heart pounding hard in his chest, hardly daring to breathe.

Lifting his head, Kurt finally met Seb’s eyes with his own. “It’s so stupid. I know that it was all beyond your control, and you had no idea if or when the time loops would end.”

“It’s not stupid, Kurt. Just explain it, and we can face it together. Please,” Seb added, half afraid Kurt would get stuck and stop.

Kurt nodded. “I think there are three things that are bothering me the most. The first is being hurt that you kept the secret so long, and it has made me question everything. I’m already a bit oversensitive in this area, because of what happened with Blaine in Colorado.”

“You mean how he was in the closet,” Seb recalled, his eyebrows drawing down at being compared to Kurt’s ex.

Reaching across the table, Kurt patted Seb’s forearm. “I think I’ve mostly gotten over this, reminding myself that you have been as open as you could be.”

Seb found himself crossing his arms over his chest. It was hard seeing Kurt upset or hurt, especially if he was inadvertently the cause. “And the second thing?”

Kurt looked troubled. “You said that when you first met me, you were attracted to me, but then you still were hooking up with lots of guys for a while.”

Seb could only nod in agreement, even though he could tell Kurt wasn’t happy about it. “It was before I knew you that well. Once we had spent more time together, I wasn’t interested in other men.”

“Look, I know it’s stupid, and we both have our pasts. But I guess a part of me is hurt that meeting me didn’t have as much of an impact on you. I was immediately into you,” Kurt said. “And then seeing you at the bar Friday made me see what you were like with other guys. I could imagine you hooking up with randoms, and I got mad, possessive. Jealous maybe.”

“Oh, that’s why you stomped out,” Seb said, realization dawning.

Kurt rolled his eyes. “I walked around until I cooled off, and then was drunk enough to decide that I’d be your random for the night. Went into a sex shop and bought everything.”

Seb gave him a raunchy grin. “You can be my random anytime you want, Kurt. You know I love role playing with you.” But he didn’t bring up how odd it had felt to not cuddle or kiss at all afterwards. But at least Kurt had been possessive. That meant something, didn't it?

“But what’s even worse is the third and final thing,” Kurt covered his eyes with his hands, seeming to need a minute to collect his thoughts.

Seb’s heart was pounding in his chest, his stomach twisting into knots. What could be worse?

Lowering his hands, Kurt seem resigned. “After a lot of soul searching last night, I realized that the thing that was bothering me the most was hearing you talking about the times we were together before the day I remember meeting you.”

Seb had never considered this as even a possibility. “Oh,” he leaned forward, taking Kurt’s hand. “Should I stop talking about those times then? I was just trying to be open, so you would understand why I sometimes know more than I should about you.”

Shaking his head, Kurt looked down at their linked hands. “It’s so idiotic. It’s like being jealous of one of your past relationships, but you were with me. It’s like being jealous of myself.”

Giving his hand a gentle squeeze, Seb tried for a lighter tone. “Well, this is hardly a normal situation, Kurt. Give yourself some slack.”

Kurt met his eyes then, his own looking very blue in the diffuse sunlight of the cafe. “I think it irked me that I couldn’t remember our real first meeting, our first date, our first kiss.”

“The day you remember us meeting was the most incredible day of my life, Kurt,” Seb said softly. Truly meaning it. He could vividly remember the first time Kurt had fallen asleep in his arms, and the way he stroked his back for what seemed like hours, content to just hold the man he loved. Not knowing that he would finally wake up to a new day the following morning.

Reaching up, Kurt’s hand went to the back of Seb’s head, pulling him closer for a long, soft kiss. When he pulled back a little, his gaze was tender. “All those memories you have of me before that day, they are special, and I want to share them with you. That is what we are going to do today.”

Seb’s heart was beating faster in a very different way now. Excitement, arousal, and hope, in a way he had not felt this whole trip. “Really? Yes, anything I can tell you, just ask.”

Kurt leaned back, smiling fondly at Seb. “I think we have done enough talking. It is time for action. There is a store next door. They are expecting you. Come back here when you have changed.”

Seb’s chair almost fell over in his haste to stand up. He steadied it with both hands, flashing Kurt an embarrassed smile, before dashing out of the cafe. He looked to the right and saw a butcher shop. Looking to the left, he saw a vintage clothing store, and a wide grin spread over his face.

A fashionable, middle-aged woman was seated on a stool behind the counter, sipping a coffee. Her hair was a deep auburn, cut into a short style that she wore well. She looked up, her dark eyes scanning over Seb quickly. _“Oui, monsieur?”_

“My name is Sebastian Smythe. I believe my boyfriend Kurt left something here for me,” Seb said quickly in French.

Her cool demeanor faded, replaced by a warm smile. Hopping off her stool, she flitted over to a doorway at the back of the small shop and came back with some clothes. “I have two suits for you that I think may work. Slip into the change room, _ma chère._ You may call me Camilla.”

Seb could see the suits were vintage, and both had suspenders attached. One was a grey tweed, the other a medium brown. He tried on the brown one first, as it was similar to the one he had worn in Colorado.

Coming out of the dressing room, he looked to the older lady for her response.

She looked his over critically. “Not bad, but I think the other will suit your body better.”

Seb went to change, and could tell she was right as soon as he pulled the trousers on. It was a three-piece suit, and the vest was snug enough to define his chest without being too tight.

“ _Mon dieu_ , that is much better,” Camilla said, giving Seb an appreciative look. “Pity you are...,” she paused, obviously searching for the English word for gay.

“Attached?” Seb said with a smirk.

She chuckled, walking over to a tie rack. “I think the crimson, if you are bold enough. The navy is a safer option.”

It took a few more tweaks before they were both satisfied. Camilla passed Seb a small paper bag. “Kurt also asked me to give you this.”

Seb peeked in, seeing a comb and a container of hair gel, and chuckled. “Can I use your washroom, Camilla?”

...

Seb smirked to himself, feeling overdressed in the three piece suit, with his hair slicked back with lots of gel. Funny to think he had dressed like this for weeks last year, trying so hard to win Kurt’s affections. What had the people at the law firm thought of him?

He walked into the cafe, his eyes immediately going to where Kurt had been sitting before, eager to see his reaction, but he wasn’t there. Surprised, he looked around the rest of the small space, his eyes almost popping out of his head.

Kurt was standing by the stools along the counter, his back to Seb, idly flipping through a magazine. His position had him bent over slightly, and he was wearing well-tailored pinstripe trousers. The same trousers from the day they had met.

He must have felt Seb’s stare, as he slowly straightened up and turned around, giving him a come hither look.

Seb was drawn to him like a magnet, loving the way Kurt’s eyes travelled over him appreciatively, knowing he liked the suit. It made him confident enough to say the first thing that came to mind. “Hello, I love you, won’t you tell me your name?” He used his most charming smile, and waited to see if Kurt would play along. He had told Kurt about their true first meeting.

"It is good to finally meet you, Sebastian. Your reputation in legal circles is quite impressive." Kurt held out his hand, shaking Seb's with firm warmth.

Seb grinned, loving the playful glint in Kurt’s eyes. "So, Kurt, it looks like we will be working together. Would you have time now to get a coffee so we can get to know each other better?"

Kurt nodded, and they carried beverages back to the table they had used before. He sat with his legs crossed, and his posture perfect, looking like the ice prince, cool and untouchable, that Seb had chased after for so many months. Willing to work together, but not interested in Seb personally.

"I can tell that I'm not your type, Kurt. What is your perfect guy like?" Seb asked, leaning back in his chair, crossing his legs as well. He smirked to himself when Kurt’s eyes traced over them, knowing his legs looked even longer in this suit.

Kurt suppressed a laugh, taking a sip of his latte. “Well first of all, he’s too humble to know he’s perfect."

Seb smirked, looking upwards to consider the statement before he met Kurt's gaze again. "That’s me."

"He’s intelligent, supportive, funny." Kurt threw out, his blue-green eyes glowing with amusement, trying to keep a straight face.

“Intelligent, supportive, funny. Me, me, me." Seb had an even bigger grin on his face. He was very impressed that Kurt remembered so much of this conversation, just from Seb telling him about it over a week ago.

"He’s got a good body, but he doesn’t have to look in the mirror every two minutes,” Kurt quipped, lifting his chin and trying to look haughty.

Seb shrugged. “I have a great body and sometimes I go months without looking in a mirror."

Biting his lip, Kurt tried to remember the rest. "He’s kind, sensitive and gentle. He’s not afraid to cry in front of me."

Rolling his eyes, Seb's lips curved up on one side. “This is a man we’re talking about right??"

Kurt gave a little huff. "Oh, and he plays an instrument and he loves his mother."

Seb leaned in to Kurt. "I am REALLY close on this one. Really, really close." The funny thing was, he hadn't been when they had first had this conversation. But it was true now. He had changed in so many ways.

“Hmmmm...,” Kurt said, tapping his chin. “Maybe you are, or maybe you are just telling me what you think I want to hear to hook-up with me. Dressing in a way you think I’ll like.”

“Sweetheart, do you think men like me come by everyday?” Seb said, barely managing to keep from laughing as he gave Kurt a slow, sexy smile. Using his best seduction techniques. “Sometimes, you just got to give things a chance.”

Kurt stood up. “How about we go for lunch? We can talk some more.”

...

Twenty minutes later, they were scanning over menus when a server came up.

“Can we get nachos with guacamole to start? And I’d like a strawberry margarita.” Kurt ordered, smiling up at the young, bearded man.

Seb ordered a Corona, and it came quickly, with a wedge of lime sticking out of the top of the clear bottle. Chuckling, he pushed the fruit into the beer and took a long pull. “How the hell did you find an authentic Mexican restaurant in Paris?”

Kurt just smirked, taking a long sip of his pink, icy drink. "Mmmmmm," he licked his lips, and Seb had to turn away to keep from groaning.

"You are a girl drink drunk,” Seb said fondly, watching as Kurt savored the icy concoction.

"I object, Counselor!" Kurt chuckled, setting down his glass with a thump. "On the grounds that I'm not a girl and I'm not drunk."

Seb grinned, pleased at how much Kurt remembered from the past couple of weeks. All the stories he had told Kurt in too much detail. "I meant that you are drunk on girl drinks."

“What, can’t men enjoy strawberries and tequila?” their server commented, as he set down a large platter of nachos. “You should let go of these foolish American...ah...”

“Stereotypes,” Kurt finished, when the server seemed to be struggling for the correct word. _“Exactement,_ Marcel.” He grinned up at the handsome man, who seemed a little too admiring in return for Seb’s taste.

Seb cleared his throat loudly, breaking the moment between the other men. _“Merci,_ Marcel. That is all for now,” he said dismissively.

Kurt rolled his eyes as the server took the hint and left. “You don’t need to be rude, Sebastian.” He lifted his glass, draining the last of the pink slush. Drinks in Paris were a lot smaller than American ones.

Looking at the glass, Seb wanted to kiss Kurt, to recreate that memory of their first kiss with him. But it just seemed awkward to do in this crowded restaurant in the middle of the day. “Um, I’ll get you another one.”

Grabbing the empty glass, he jumped up and walked fast to the bar. Marcel was mixing some other drinks, and arched an eyebrow at Seb.

“Look, I’m sorry about my tone just now. It’s just that it’s Valentine’s Day, and I’m trying to get everything just right, you know...” Seb said in a rush, feeling self-conscious.

Marcel looked back at their table, where Kurt was eating a chip loaded with cheese and sucking the salsa off his finger. “A man like that,” he shook his head at Seb, glancing over his gelled hair and vintage suit, “You need to do better.”

Seb felt like sighing. He could hardly explain why he was dressed up like this to a stranger. “You are right. How about you make us two margaritas, so I can drink one with him?”

This got an approving nod, and Marcel soon set the drinks on the bar.

Seb flashed him a grateful look, and turned with the drinks, almost spilling them when he realized someone was standing very close behind him. It was Kurt.

“I got a bit lonely, sitting over there all by myself,” he said, pouting in a flirty way.

“Oh, sorry Kurt. Just waiting to get our drinks,” Seb explained, knowing Marcel was watching them.

Kurt took a glass from Seb. “You got one too? Here’s to Valentine’s Day in Paris.” He clinked their glasses, and took a long sip.

Seb copied him, putting his lips to the salted rim of the glass and taking a sip. It was delicious, a nice balance between the bite of the tequila, the sweetness of the fruit, and the tang of lime juice. It went down far too easily, and he set his half-empty glass on the bar.

“That was good. I can see why you order them,” Seb smiled down at Kurt. But then a sharp pain radiated through his head, making him close his eyes, wincing. “Shit! Brain freeze,” he gasped.

When the pain subsided a little, he opened his eyes to find Kurt standing really close, his eyes an odd mixture of concern and amusement. But then his gaze dropped to Seb’s lips, and before he knew it, Kurt was kissing him.

It was a good, deep, enthusiastic kiss, and Seb could still taste the strawberries and tequila. He could only moan, gathering Kurt closer, and hoping it would never end. How he had missed being kissed like this by Kurt.

Something cold on the back of his neck made Seb jump, and Kurt’s glass fell out of his hand. The icy fluid luckily ended up splattering up against the bar instead of Seb’s suit.

He looked down, chuckling at the mess, and rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. There was a cold spot there, but it wasn’t wet. Kurt must have still been holding his drink when he hugged Seb back.

Marcel had poured them another couple of drinks. “On the house, for that very romantic kiss. Happy Valentine’s.” He smiled widely, clearly happy that his advice to Seb had been so effective.

They headed back to their table, eating nachos and burritos and drinking many more margaritas.

...

“Oh shit! We have to go!” Kurt slurred, looking at the clock on the wall.

Seb grinned at Kurt’s funny expression. “We are on vacation. We don’t have to go anywhere.” He was pretty sure Marcel was making their drinks stronger with each round.

Kurt threw down some money, and tugged his coat on. He grabbed Seb’s scarf, and practically strangled him wrapping it around his neck.

“OK, OK,” Seb muttered, standing up with a wobble and having a hard time getting his arm into his coat sleeve.

Eventually they made it into a taxi, lurching together as the vehicle sped around corners. They arrived at their destination, an old movie theatre.

“No Fucking Way!” Seb said, looking at what was playing. 'The Umbrellas of Cherbourg'.

Kurt was pleased, taking his hand once he’d bought the tickets. “I guess they play it every Valentine’s Day here. A lot of people find it romantic.”

They found seats away from other people, and snuggled together. It was a small, old theatre, but it suited watching a fifty year old musical here. The theatre was old enough to have shown the movie when it first came out.

Seb was surprised at how incredible it was, simply watching a movie they both loved, on a big screen. Sharing the experience, holding hands in the dark, singing the words of their favourite songs softly to each other.

They got to the part where the young couple must say goodbye, with the young man getting drafted to fight in another country for two years. It was the scene Seb had played to Kurt a year ago, during their French lessons.

Holding Kurt’s eyes in the dim, flickering light from the movie, Seb sang softly. _“Je t'aimerai jusqu'à la fin de ma vie.”_ His voice caught on the last word. (I will love you until the end of my life).

He saw Kurt’s eyes well up, and then they were hugging tight, Kurt’s face tucked against his neck. After a few moments, they shifted to be sitting as close as possible, Kurt’s head on his shoulder.

...

When the movie was over, they simply put their coats on, and wandered around the darkening streets, hand in hand. It was their last night in Paris, and they felt completely under her spell.

They paused on a bridge with a pretty view, and Seb drew Kurt closer. “Thank you for today, Kurt. Everything we did was so personal, so romantic. Far better than taking you to a flashy restaurant like I did on Monday.”

“It’s not a competition, Seb,” Kurt said with a small grin. “And I love dressing up and going to fancy places.”

Seb kissed him, a soft, sweet kiss. Everything he felt for this man going into it.

Kurt gave a small chuckle. “You know how you told me about that conversation we had about my perfect guy, back when you were really chasing after me? How many of the attributes did you have back then?”

Looking out over the water, Seb thought about it. “Well, without sounded conceited, I’d say I had a good body, and was reasonably intelligent and funny. I didn’t have the other things at all. I really was shallow. I worked hard, cared more about money than people, and just had casual hook-ups.” 

“And if it wasn’t for the time loops, you would have stayed like that, right?” Kurt looked up at him, really curious about his answer. 

Seb sighed, hugging Kurt tighter. “Frankly, I was a desperately lonely, sad man, and I didn’t even know it. My father died, and I was so busy with college and establishing my career, my mother and I drifted apart more and more. She moved back here, and it just made things worse. I didn’t even have any close friends.” How had he existed like that? How had he gotten up every day? It just seemed so empty an existence. 

Kurt was quiet, obviously thinking things over. When he finally pulled back, he looked quite serious. “I’m not a spiritual person, Seb. You know that, and I don’t think you are either. But we know what happened to you was something… maybe karma or fate or whatever. And you were only unstuck from those time loops when we were started in the right way. We met dozens of times before that, but everything clicked right on that perfect day a year ago. When we were both ready for each other.”

“So, you think it’s fate that we are together?” Seb asked, his eyebrows rising. 

Kurt shrugged, looking a little sheepish. He sighed. “I don’t know. Perhaps it was simply putting you back on the path you should have been on the whole time.” 

Seb smiled tenderly at his boyfriend. “Whatever it is, I am so thankful that we found each other. I never knew I could love anyone like I love you, Kurt. Inside and out. Everything about you. You bring out the best in me. Make me a better man.” 

Scoffing, Kurt gave a small smile. “You make everything better, Sebastian. We go to the Notre Dame, and you get a grumpy girl singing with you. We get lost, and we find the best chocolate croissants on the planet. We get stuck without money, and you get the idea to busk, playing my favourite song. Even yesterday, you turn a routine museum visit into an intense discussion of art with three other people.”

Hearing Kurt saying that warmed Seb from the inside out. He had been so worried about everything since revealing his secret, watching Kurt’s moods. Looking back on the whole trip, there had been many good times together. 

“Speaking of those tapestries from yesterday, and our debate over ‘À Mon Seul Désir’," Seb said softly, (My Only Desire) “It reminded me of a run I did last week near the Notre Dame. There’s a marker in the middle of the courtyard of the geographic center of Paris, a copper sun, and people do a little spin over it, wishing for their heart’s desire. Know what I wished for?” 

Kurt shook his head slowly, his eyes seeming even more beautiful tonight. 

Seb swallowed hard, feeling so much for this man. “I wished ‘Please, please let Kurt love me again. Love me, fully and completely, past and all’. It’s what I want more than anything else in the world.” 

“My feelings for you were shaken up by your secret, but I never stopped loving you.” Kurt said, blinking back the sudden wetness in his eyes. “I do love you, Sebastian Smythe, with my whole heart. With everything I have to give you.” 

Swearing softly to himself, Seb gathered Kurt close, just holding him tight, feeling like his heart might just burst. His wish had come true. 

...

-A/N: Yay! They are together for their 'Happy Ever After' and I'm finally done the last part of this series. I'm usually a fairly fast writer, completing a story within a few months with weekly updates (or more often) usually. But the whole Meerkat Day series stalled from time to time, and just needed it's own space to get done. Even though I struggled with it, I still enjoyed the story & love the support you have all given to it. 

-I swore to myself that I would finish this chapter on Groundhog Day. This was posted at 10:30 pm Feb 2/19, my time. :) 

-The Lady and the Unicorn Tapestries: The six medieval tapestries are thought to be around 500 years old. "The set, on display in the _Musée national du Moyen Âge_ (former Musée de Cluny) in Paris, is often considered one of the greatest works of art of the Middle Ages in Europe." (Wikipedia) There is much debate on what the sixth and largest tapestry is about, with the words _'À Mon Seul Désir'_ on the top of the blue tent. There are also a series of seven unicorn tapestries in New York's medieval museum, The Cloisters, depicting noblemen hunting a unicorn, from around the same time period. 3 minute video of Paris tapestries is [here.](https://vimeo.com/289596611)

-Mexican Restaurant in Paris: They go to La Perla, Link [ here.](http://www.laperla-paris.com/en/)


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